We’re sure you’ve heard of the longstanding notion that women and their mother-in-laws are just not meant to get along.
While this may be an expectation for many wives-to-be, and a real experience for many daughter-in-laws, it’s certainly not the case for veteran actress Jin Yinji, 76, and her daughter-in-law Cloe Han, 42.
Jin and Han — both Korean — founded their business, Gold Kimchi, together during quarantine.
Even for regular mother-daughter in-law pairs, there’s bound to be tension.
So it’s bound to have happened between them too, right?
Mothership sat the pair down to find out.
The story of Gold Kimchi
Founded in the midst of the Covid-19 pandemic, Gold Kimchi started with a seed planted by Han’s friends.
“During Covid, I was always cooking for my kids and for friends, because [there was] nothing to do,” Han recalled. “[My friends pushed] me to [start] the business. [So I] looked around Instagram and YouTube [and thought], why not? I’ll just start small.”
Photo from Gold Kimchi’s Instagram page.
Gold Kimchi’s recipes are a mix of Han’s own experimentation, and those passed down by her mother.
Jin expressed that she’s very supportive of her daughter-in-law’s business venture, incessantly praising her technique:
“Her ingredients are very fresh, and she’s very generous with them. She doesn’t add anything artificial.
She even washes all her containers before packing her kimchi. Which business washes their containers these days?
It’s only natural that I’m extremely supportive of my daughter-in-law starting a business.”
The pair experimented countless times during quarantine before perfecting their recipes.
In-laws, but also business partners
We then addressed the elephant in the room: there had to have been some sort of tension in the process, right?
Jin denied this, remarking that she’s an easygoing person.
Joining in, Han expressed her gratitude towards the role Jin’s career in showbiz has played in the growth of their business:
“I’m lucky [that] she’s quite [a] famous actress in Singapore. We work together, [she promotes] my kimchi and shares [them] with her friends. For me [it’s] a very big benefit, actually.
We always talk about what to do [next for the business], we sometimes do [livestreams] together. Our relationship [with each other is] good.”
Screenshots of Instagram stories posted by Mediacorp actresses Hong Huifang, Pan Lingling and Chen Xiuhuan.
The secret to a healthy in-law relationship
According to Han, Jin treats her like her own — perhaps especially because Han moved to Singapore to marry Jin’s son.
“She always protects me,” Han laughed.
Photo from Jin’s Instagram page.
Though Han doesn’t deny that there are misunderstandings between them at times, she explained that they don’t allow it to fester as she raises any possible concerns directly to her mother-in-law, and that they talk things out from there.
Jin also noted that she’s in a different generation of mother-in-laws, and feels like the concept that in-laws not getting along should no longer exist in this day and age.
She also gives Han the freedom to do whatever she wants, and never imposes judgement on her for her decisions.
“If you want to live together harmoniously, you’ll have to make compromises,” Jin said matter-of-factly.
Rewriting the narrative
Jin’s relationship with Han is perhaps a mirror of her experiences with her own mother-in-law.
The actress recounted that her mother-in-law helped take care of her children while Jin pursued her dreams of becoming a star.
Not that things were always smooth-sailing, though.
Jin recalled that when she first moved to Singapore from South Korea, her husband’s family mainly communicated in Teochew, which she couldn’t understand a word of.
Hence, she feels grateful that she and Han are able to communicate in Korean.
“I just want to make her feel as comfortable as possible,” Jin smiled.
Co-parenting Han’s children
A mother of two boys, Han quipped that her children — particularly the younger child — are especially close to their grandmother.
“He [always says] that he [loves] nai nai (grandmother in Chinese) more than Daddy,” she laughed.
Photo from Jin Yinji’s Instagram page.
The pair seem to play a “good cop, bad cop” routine — Han is the strict one at home, while Jin is the one who spoils them.
According to the pair, Han and her husband limit the children’s television time for them to focus on their studies. On the other hand, Jin sneaks in television sessions for them whenever she can, promising to “keep their secret”.
Jin shared:
“I never scold the kids. In this age, we don’t hit the kids either. It’s not like in my son’s time, where my mother-in-law would cane and scold him [when he was disobedient].”
Instead, she’s found the best deterrent to their mischief: threatening to call their mother.
Han elaborated with a laugh:
“I’m the one [who] always [scolds] them. Because everybody’s, like, [overprotective of] them. One person, at least, [has] to give them rules, right?
[That person] is me. My husband [has] no power.”
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Top photos by Livia Soh and from Gold Kimchi’s Instagram
