I don’t really remember “vacations” when I was a kid. When I was just a little tad, my folks took us to northern Minnesota on week-long fishing trips a couple of times. I enjoyed those because I loved fishing, because my Grandpa always came along, and I thought I had the best Grandpa ever. But they weren’t expensive and they weren’t fancy, just a week in a cabin borrowed from a friend, and a lot of fish for the freezer. In later years, when summer rolled around, my parents generally looked around at the stretch of Allamakee County, Iowa, woods where we lived and asked, “Why would we go anywhere else?”
So when I stumbled on this piece on Fox News by columnist Ted Jenkin, it struck a familiar chord.
In today’s fast-paced world, where both parents are often working full-time jobs, guilt can creep in quickly. You miss a few school events. You get home after bedtime. You feel like you’re not showing up enough as a mom or dad.
And so, to make up for it, you decide to go big because you really believe your kids are going to love it. You book an over-the-top family vacation – the kind of trip that screams “We’re doing great!” or “Let me show you how much money we are making!”
But here’s the problem: you’re likely spending money you shouldn’t, and worse, your kids won’t even remember it. If they are under the age of 5, let’s face it, you are doing this for own edification and not for memories that your kids will thank you for one day.
That much is certain. I only have a few vague memories of my life before age 5 or so, and that age in my life was marked by a pretty memorable event, when the folks gave up farming and we left the farm near Fairbank, Iowa, which was the only home the pre-school me ever knew. But I only remember scattered images of that farm. And, no, kids won’t remember a fancy vacation if they are much younger than five or six.
But here, as I see it, is the real point.
Let’s take one of the most common examples: Disney World. If you have a 2-year-old and a 4-year-old, and you’re thinking,”Let’s do Disney now – it’s on our bucket list!” – stop right there. It’s not just the theme park tickets anymore.
You’re talking about staying at the Animal Kingdom Lodge, booking Fast Passes for every ride, making breakfast reservations with Mickey and friends, and buying custom princess dresses or Star Wars gear. Suddenly, this vacation becomes a full-throttle production that costs upwards of $10,000. And all you are thinking is, “My kids will really thank me for this one day!”
No, they won’t.
And what happens two days in? You’re sweating in 90-degree heat, holding a soggy ice cream cone, while your kids melt down because they’re overstimulated and exhausted. You’re standing in a two-hour line without the Fast Pass for a 90-second ride, wondering how this was supposed to be “magical.”
That doesn’t sound like a vacation. That sounds like torture.
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And why go through all that, all the hassle, all the expense? Want to give your kids something they will treasure later? Spend some time with them. Take them fishing. Take them to see their grandparents. When our kids were little, the only vacation time we took was to visit my folks back in Allamakee County, and our girls still remember that magical little house in the woods, with the clear trout stream in front, where Grandma backed them cookies, Grandpa pushed them in the tire swing, and they got to ride in the wagon behind the tractor. When they were older, we took them to Alaska, but we didn’t spend a lot of money aside from travel, lodging, and a vehicle; we saw the Great Land, we did some fishing, and we spent all that time together.
That’s what kids will remember. That’s what kids need. Not screen time, not expensive pageantry – especially not at Disneyland, given that unfortunate company’s recent history. Spend time with your kids. Share adventures with them. Share life with them. And when grandchildren come along, do the same for them.
That’s the best vacation of all.
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