The Far Side featured many memorable quotes over the years, and collected here are some of Gary Larson’s most hilariously unhinged and unforgettable lines of dialogue. As much as The Far Side relied on visual humor, another essential factor was Larson’s ability to distill his characters’ voices into bite-sized snippets.
Gary Larson was known for puns, plays on words, and twists on recognizable phrases, but he was also skilled at creating dialogue that fit the warped world of his fictional characters.
This list celebrates some of the best examples of the latter, dialogue which arose from the unique Far Side scenarios Larson cooked up.
“You Have Corneal Corruption”: Readers Will Find The Far Side’s Unique Medical Terminology Hilarious
First Published: April 2, 1992
“Evil eye, Mr. Gruenfeld, evil eye,” the physician in this Far Side doctor cartoon declares, putting his diagnosis in layman’s terms, but it is the more “official” sounding terminology that readers will really get a kick out of in this comic. “You have a corneal corruption,” the doctor explains, a phrase hilariously coined by Gary Larson.
Also amusing is the way the doctor pronounces this seemingly horrible medical oddity as “wonderful,” getting caught up in the rarity of this ailment, rather than the reality of the fact that his patient has to live with the “evil eye,” which is illustrated as comedically cat-like, bulging out of the face of “Gruenfeld.”
“He’s Into Wearing Leather Clothes”: The Far Side’s Cow Counterculture Lampoons Rebellious Human Fashion
First Published: April 9, 1991
“That’s our rebellious young calf Matthew,” a bovine Far Side parent says in this panel, as their visit with guests is interrupted by the young bull busting in the door and strolling through the living room, sporting highly unusual attire. “He’s into wearing leather clothes for the shock value,” his exasperated parent explains, telling its guests to “just ignore him.”
Here, Gary Larson hilariously lampoons the trope of the leather-clad rebel. By using his beloved cow characters, Larson seemingly says to readers that for humans, wearing leather might be a fashion statement, but for a bovine, it would be a truly transgressive act. In this way, The Far Side hilariously provides context for human culture through animal characters.
“Sure Beats Having Your Descendants Strangled In The Night”: The Far Side Offers Up Some Perspective On Curses
First Published: September 29, 1987
The “cursed tomb” is one of The Far Side’s most underrated tropes, evoking Gary Larson’s love of early horror films such as The Mummy, as well as his fascination with archeology and exploration. Here, the peril of prying into a sarcophagus turns out to be a slapstick walloping from a spring-loaded boxing glove.
Yet the crux of the joke is how much worse it could’ve been. “Consider yourself fortunate,” the knocked-out archeologist’s colleague notes, pointing out that this “sure beats having your descendents strangled in the night by a walking corpse,” a nod to the formative Universal monster films and their many imitators over the years.
“Mmmmm….Skunk Sandwich….”: The Far Side Chronicles The World’s Most Uneven Lunch Swap Proposal
First Published: August 5, 1986
In this uproarious bit of Far Side workplace comedy, a construction worker tries to trick his colleague into giving up his banana in return for a “skunk sandwich.” It’s a bizarre premise, made hilarious by the way in which the man with the skunk sandwich tries to psychologically trick his buddy into taking what sounds like a horrifyingly gross lunch.
The absurdity of the whole scenario, as well as the illustration of a skunk sticking out from between two pieces of bread, along with the slight hesitation that can be read in Bill’s expression, all add up to make this another underrated Far Side classic, with “mmmmm…skunk sandwich…trade for that banana, Bill?” liable to stick in readers minds.
“Don’t Take Candy From Strangers”: The Far Side Puts A Wild Twist On This Familiar Advice
First Published: November 11, 1985
“I don’t take candy from strangers” one cowboy sternly says to another, who offers him licorice at the saloon. It is a recognizable sentiment, the kind of thing generations of parents have cautioned their children against doing, but with this cartoon, Gary Larson thrusts the phrase into a hysterical new context: Far Side staple the Wild West.
Like much of The Far Side’s comedy, Larson’s cowboy humor tended to be centered around undercutting readers’ perceptions of a familiar archetype, in this case cowboys’ “rough and tumble” reputation in pop culture. This Far Side panel does that to particularly great effect by latching onto something recognizable and twisting it in a delightfully whacky and unforgettable way.
“A Good Trumpeting After Dinner”: The Far Side On The Difference Between Human And Elephant Decorum
First Published: August 21, 1984
Here, Gary Larson captures a hilarious social faux pas as only The Far Side could, depicting an anthropomorphized elephant at a dinner party full of humans, who are mortified when the wild beast “let[s] fly with a good trumpeting after dinner,” in a thinly-veiled reference to flatulence, or at least a highly improper belch.
“Where I come from, it’s considered a compliment,” the elephant says, suddenly on the defensive. The illustration elevates this joke, as it captures its characters at a moment of peak tension, with the elephant’s eyes darting angrily at the nearest human guest, while the humans all put their hands on their hips and scrunch up their faces in displeasure.
“One Grunt For Daddy”: The Far Side’s Most Hilariously Heartwarming Pet/Owner Relationship
First Published: August 6, 1984
This split-panel Far Side comic breaks from the cartoon’s usual format in order to deliver an all-time great joke. Here, a traveling businessman calls back home from a phone booth, and on the other end of the line, his wife tries to get their pet rhino to “talk to him,” in a scene that straddles the line between outrageous and heartwarming.
“One grunt for Daddy, one grunt for Daddy,” the wife coaxes the rhino, in as much of an earworm of dialogue that Gary Larson ever produced during The Far Side’s run. It is so absurd that it sticks easily in readers’ minds, and upon recalling it at a later date, it is almost assured to bring at least a smile to their face.
“No Roughhousing Under The Hornet’s Nest!”: This Far Side Kid Can’t Even Catch A Break In His Own Bedroom
First Published: November 9, 1983
With The Far Side, readers never knew when unexpected dangers would invade the sanctity of characters’ homes. Gary Larson routinely turned living rooms into death traps, for example, and here, he makes it so that the young kid in this cartoon can’t even play in his own room without being attacked by bees.
Hilariously, when his mother opens the door to find him flailing, helplessly trying to swat away a horde of stinging insects, she admonishes him that “it’s not like you haven’t been warned…no roughhousing under the hornet’s nest.” Here, Gary Larson takes something outrageous and treats it as perfectly ordinary, and the result is comedy gold.
“The Real Angel Of Death”: The Far Side Reminds Readers To Always Ask For Identification
First Published: February 1, 1982
The Grim Reaper appeared in multiple Far Side cartoons, and while he’s still played for laughs here, this is perhaps the most ominous incarnation of Death Gary Larson ever drew, represented as a pair of piercing red eyes emanating from under a sharp cloak. Hilariously, that comes in stark contrast to how the women in this panel react when confronted by their mortality.
“How are we supposed to know you’re the real Angel of Death?” one of the women asks. Though it seems outrageously obvious from the look of the creepy visage peeking through the crack in the door, these are perhaps low-key some of the smartest Far Side characters, as they at least stall for time by asking for identification.
“Venison!”: The Far Side’s Dark Version of Santa Claus Drops The Mask
First Published: December 22, 1980
The Far Side featured its share of iconic Christmas-themed cartoons, including this early example. Like all Far Side comics from 1980, this one helped set the tone for how Gary Larson approached even the most sacred subjects. Here, he features Santa Claus full-on threatening to kill and eat his reindeer if they don’t quit complaining.
“I’ve only got one thing to say about all these complaints I’ve been hearing about,” Claus says, pointing a finger at his fleet of flying reindeer and snarling: “Venison!” It is an unforgettable Far Side synthesis of shockingly dark and uproariously funny, the style of comedy that Larson would continue to perfect as his career progressed.
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Gary Larson
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Gary Larson
