The all-American, the ever-masculine, and forever brooding cowboy epitomize the Wild West and days of America’s glorious past. And why wouldn’t it be, and who wouldn’t want to try their hand at herding cattle through vastly glorious Great Plains or driving them down for winter from the peaks of the Rockies?
Of course, every well-sung hero is no real protagonist without a funny side to them, and the iconic cowboy is no exception. That said, we’re not here to give you a list of cowboy songs about love lost and starry skies – they won’t just cut enough cake in the funny department. Instead, what we did here is we rounded up a list of the very best cowboy jokes to turn the myth into a person! We’ve lassoed real gems of cowboy humor and hobbled them here, and if there’s one thing we can guarantee is that these funny cowboy skits will have you snorting like a Quarter horse after a good cattle run.
As you can see, we’re not so hot to trot in making up cowboy puns ourselves, so to make it up to you, we’ve also included some pretty darn excellent ones on this list. All you need to do now is to saddle up, take a ride down west, and check out our selection of cowboy jokes!
#1 This Rodeo’s Got Moves
What does a teenage cowboy say when he throws somebody out of the saloon?
“Yeet haw!”
#2 This Pun Rode Into My Heart
What do you call a happy cowboy?
A jolly rancher.
#3 Plot twist: nightmares are hungry too
Why did the cowboy take hay to bed?
To feed his nightmares.
#4 Burning down the dad joke corral
Which cowboy is famous for starting fires?
Flint Eastwood!
#5 Ride or Valhalla
Where do Viking Cowboys go when they die?
Y’allhalla.
#6 Mood: Dead Inside, Y’all
What does a sad cowboy and a supernatural fan have in common?
Both want to put a winchester in their mouth.
#7 Spurs Ready, Sun’s Out
“I’m making a new cowboy film called “The Sun”. It’s set in the west!”
#8 Practical hat hacks I didn’t know I needed
Why are cowboy hats curled up on the side?
So they can fit three in the pickup.
#9 Cowboy hats: not cow-approved
What’s the time when your cow sits on your cowboy hat?
Time to get a new cowboy hat!
#10 Cowboys Need Hugs Too
How do you warm up a frozen cowboy?
Yee thaw!
#11 This pun’s got me riding high
What do you call a takeout low-calorie meal for a cowboy?
A saddle light dish.
#12 Beam me up, Buttercow
How do space cowboys wrangle their cattle?
A tractor beam.
#13 Classic dad joke energy
Why did everybody think the cowboy was so funny?
Because he was always horsing around.
#14 Classic cowboy mood swing
What did the young cowboy say when his sweet little dog went missing?
“Doggone!”
#15 This Joke Just Rode In
What’s a cowboy’s least favorite car?
A cattle-lack.
#16 Cowboys Do Bounce Back
What is it called when a cowboy dies and comes back to life?
Reintarnation.
#17 This Joke Rode Into My DMs
What do you call a retired old cowboy?
De-ranged.
#18 When Your Outfit Gives You Away
A cowboy rides into town wearing a paper suit and paper hat. He wasn’t in town five minutes before he was arrested for rustling.
#19 Well, that’s one slow rodeo
Why was the cowboy sad?
He couldn’t giddy-up.
#20 Sunday is clearly off-limits here
What do the Dallas Cowboys and a Chick-Fil-A manager have in common?
Neither one shows up for work on Sunday.
#21 High stakes, higher steaks
Why are so many cowboys also gamblers?
Because they always like raising the steaks!
#22 Dad joke gold right here
Who wrote the book “Talk Like a Cowboy?”
Hal D. Yall.
#23 Pun game strong, cowboy style
How does a cowboy usually greet an equestrian?
“Howdy Neigh-bor”.
#24 Acting Lessons, Yeehaw Style
What do you call a cowboy who teaches acting class?
A stagecoach.
#25 This Pun Rode Right In
How did the cowboy know his cattle were behind him without looking?
He herd them.
#26 When your calves have separation anxiety
Why did the bow-legged cowboy lose his job on the ranch?
He couldn’t keep his calves together!
#27 Classic Dad Joke Energy
Knock, knock! Who is it over there? Howdy. Howdy who? Howey partner.
#28 When space meets horseback
What did the Jedi say to the cowboy?
May the horse be with you.
#29 When German Cowboys Say Howdy
How do German cowboys greet each other?
“Audi, partner!”
#30 Okay, that one’s udderly brilliant
How do cowboys keep their cattle quiet?
Press the moooote button!
#31 Classic rodeo energy
What did the cowboy say at his second rodeo?
“This ain’t my first rodeo.”
#32 Classic cowboy math fail
Why can’t cowboys ever get the right answer in math class?
Because they’re always rounding things up.
#33 Teamwork Makes the Blowout Work
How many Dallas Cowboys does it take to change a tire?
One, unless it’s a blowout, in which case they all show up.
#34 Old West Drama, Modern Problems
What did the cowboy say when his wife threatened to leave him?
He said, “It’s just like Sparks says, ‘This town ain’t big enough for both of us’.”
#35 This Joke Rode In Unexpectedly
In what fashion does a cowboy arrive at a hockey game?
He usually arrives in a zam-pony!
#36 When Your Horse Becomes Your ATM
What is the secret to cowboys being extremely rich?
I think the only reason is that their horse often gives them a few bucks every day!
#37 Barefoot and bug-approved
Why don’t cowboys shoo the flies buzzing around them?
It’s easier to let them go bare foot.
#38 Well, That Took a Dark Turn
How do you kill a rodeo clown?
Go for the juggler!
#39 This joke just laid an egg!
What did the egg say to the rodeo clown?
You crack me up!
#40 Well, that’s a meaty joke
What does a cowboy eat before a rodeo?
Bullogna.
#41 Absolutely punny, not sorry
What do you call a bull that fell asleep at the rodeo?
A bulldozer.
#42 Unexpected cowboy meets Mandarin flair
How do Chinese Cowboys greet each other?
They say, “NiHowdy!”
#43 That’s on purpose, not accidental
An insurance agent approaches a cowboy, trying to sell him an accident policy.
The agent inquires, “Have you ever had an accident?”
“Never,” the cowboy responds. “However, just recently a horse kicked in two of my ribs, and back a couple years ago a rattlesnake bit my ankle.”
“Wouldn’t you call these accidents?” says the puzzled agent.
“Nah,” the cowboy replies. “They both did it on purpose!”
#44 This Joke Rode In Just Right
What is a cowboy’s favourite ice cream?
Yee-Häagen-Dazs!
#45 Guess the cowboy’s real move
How did the cowboy do that?
“I ask you again: Howdy do?”
#46 Short and sweet wins every time
Why don’t cowboys make good lovers?
Because they think a good ride is eight seconds.
#47 Not how I pictured cowboy slang
What does a cowboy say to his wife when the nature’s calling?
“Honey, I think I got a DIARR-HEE-YAW.”
#48 Mood: Perpetual Bull Avoider
Why was the rodeo clown frustrated with his job?
He was tired of all the bull.
#49 Low-key Pun Boss
What do you call someone who works at a rodeo?
An EmployYee.
#50 No Bull, Just Bars
What’s a rodeo clown’s favorite type of bar?
A honky tonk!
#51 Ranch Diet Goals
What do you call a take-out low-calorie meal for a cowboy?
A saddle light dish.
#52 Chuck Norris Didn’t Even Try
Last year Chuck Norris won the prize for best float at the Carnival in Rio simply by walking in the parade wearing his cowboy hat.
#53 Chuck Norris Wins Every Showdown
Chuck Norris killed Heath Ledger… nobody ruins the image of cowboys and lives.
#54 Sheep, Trucks, and Cowboy Vibes
What do you call a cowboy with A truckload of sheep?
A pimp!
#55 When bad aim meets bad puns
A cowboy rides into town in the Wild West and shoots an artist.
The sheriff asks him, “Why did you do that?”
The cowboy says, “I thought he was going to draw.”
#56 Roping Words Like a Pro
What is the highest honor among Cowboy poets?
Poet lariat.
#57 Can’t Stop, Won’t Appaloosa
What does a cowboy call a horse that keeps losing its iPad?
An Appaloosa!
#58 Classic exit, zero fuss
What happened after the old cowboy actor passed away?
He rode off into the sunset.
#59 When the beef fights back
Why did the cow kick Roy Rogers?
She heard he was a cowpuncher.
#60 Boots on, toes safe, truly legendary
Did you hear about the cowboy who died with his boots on?
He didn’t want to stub his toe when he kicked the bucket!
#61 No Uber for Cowboys
Why do cowboys always ride horses?
Because they’re far too heavy to carry!
#62 Borderline cowboy energy
Is a cowboy with his foot across the Canadian border in Canada?
Just aboot.
#63 Jurassic Rodeo Vibes
What do you call a dinosaur wearing a cowboy hat and boots?
Tyrannosaurus Tex.
#64 That’s one way to patch things up
What do cowboys tell their cows after an argument?
“Turn the udder cheek and moooove on!”
#65 Math Teacher Mode: Activated
A cowboy asked me if I could help him round up 18 cows.
I said, “Sure, that’s 20 cows.”
#66 Cowboy puns hitting different
What do ghost cowboys wear?
Boo-ts!
#67 Bean there, done that
Where do cowboys cook their beans?
On the range.
#68 Cowboy Logic: Nailed It
What did the cowboy say to the old man when he accused him of farting?
“Darn tootin’.”
#69 Plot twist, meet Friday the horse
If a cowboy rides into town on Friday and three days later, leaves on Friday, how does he do it?
The horse’s name is Friday!
#70 Middle kid’s life hack, no stress
Three cowboys are riding in a truck, all dressed head-to-toe identically. Who is the smartest?
The one in the middle because he doesn’t have to drive or open the gate.
#71 Coughing Up Dust, Literally
What illness can cowboys catch from their horses?
Bronc-itis.
#72 No Beef, No Problems
Why can’t the bankrupt cowboy complain?
He has got no beef.
#73 Well, that escalated bacon-fast
Two cowboys are lost in a desert. One cowboy sees a tree full of bacon and shouts, “It’s a bacon tree; we’re saved!” He runs toward the tree and gets shot. It wasn’t a bacon tree. It was a hambush.
#74 Plot twist in the dust
A cowboy is riding on his horse in a desert. Suddenly, he sees a man lying down with his ear to the ground.
The man: “A carriage. Six horses. Three black, two brown and one white.”
The cowboy: “Wow! You can hear all of that?!”
The man: “No, they just ran me over.”
#75 Rodeo Meets Wall Street
What do you call a cowboy who works in finance?
The loan arranger.
#76 Not your average tumbleweed vibes
Cowboys don’t roll, they tumble.
#77 Didn’t See That Outfit Coming
What do you call a cowboy’s outfit?
Ranch dressing.
#78 Sunday? Not in their playbook
What do the Cowboys and the post office have in common?
Neither deliver on Sundays.
#79 Cowboy math is wild
What do cowboys make when the sun comes up?
Shadows.
#80 This pun actually slayed me
Where do cowboys go to think things over?
The ponder-osa.
#81 This pun actually slayed me
Where do cowboys feed their herd lunch?
The calf-eteria.
#82 Classic cowboy art vibes
What did the cowboy say to the artist?
Draw, partner.
#83 This Cow’s Got Good Taste
How do cowboys keep their cattle calm?
Play them relaxing moooosic.
#84 Classic cowboy energy, no doubt
How did the cowboy react when he bought a new yo-yo?
He simply said, “Well, this ain’t my first yo-yo”.
#85 When Yeehaw Met Yeet
n modern times, how does a millennial cowboy speak?
He simply says, “Yeet Haw”!
#86 Wait, Cowboys rooting for Spurs?
Which is the only team that the cowboys support?
The cowboys are all avid fans of the Spurs!
#87 Broke, But Still Iconic
What is the perfect way to call a cowboy who is always without money despite being a film actor?
You call him always broke Skint Eastwood!
#88 This job’s low-key the wild west
What does the cowboy say after he is given a boring job at the factory?
After a long, tiring day, he says that his work is howdy pressing!
#89 Deadskins: The Ultimate Undead Showdown
If ever there was a fight, who would a zombie cowboy fight with?
It would most definitely fight with the deadskins!
#90 This Joke Landed Better Than My Last One
While taking out his herd, where do the cowboy take his cattle?
The cowboy rides them up to Moo York!
#91 Skill that’s more than just a shootout
What special characteristic did the artist cowboy have in his forte?
He was excellent at drawing!
#92 Classic dad joke energy
Knock, knock!
Who is it over there?
Hans.
Hans who?
Take your Hans off my gold.
#93 Cowboys Really Fired Up About This
What did the cowboys think about the campfire?
They gave it glowing reviews.
#94 Jurassic Rodeo Vibes
Which kind of dinosaur can be found at a rodeo?
A bronco-saurus!
#95 Roping Us In, Literally
“Would you and your friend like to get some team roping?”
#96 Boots, lassos, and low-key flirtin’
“Hey missy, I wouldn’t mind throwin a lasso around your boots and a pullin you this a way.”
#97 Outlawing Country Vibes
Who wears a cowboy hat, black leather jacket with studs, cowboy boots, a big silver belt buckle, and black lipstick?
Goth Brooks.
#98 Plot twist: Best friend vibes only
“I might have looked like Woody, but you must know that you’ve not just got a friend in me.”
#99 Plot Twist: Dark Horse Getaway
“We can run away with my dark horse and live in our own paradise for the rest of our lives.”
#100 Cowgirl Energy: Heart Thief Alert
“I am amazed that you are indeed a cowgirl as you already stolen of our hearts in this room.”
#101 This rodeo bull gets jokes
What do you call a rodeo bull with a sense of humor?
Laughing stock.
#102 I’m Here for the Rodeo Grip Debate
Do bulls have love handles?
No, they have rodeo grips.
#103 Accidents? Only if critters say sorry
The cowboy was trying to buy a health insurance policy. The insurance agent was going down the list of standard questions.
“Ever have an accident?”
“Nope, nary a one.”
“None? You’ve never had any accidents.”
“Nope. Ain’t had one. Never.”
“Well, you said in this form you were bitten by a snake once. Wouldn’t you consider that an accident?”
“Heck, no. That dang varmint bit me on purpose.”
#104 Timing’s everything, partner
Why did the southern cowboy lose the duel?
He was slow on that drawl.
#105 Plot twist: cowboy goes furry
What did the furry cowboy say when he was excited?
“Yiffy-ki-yay!”
#106 Too Cool for Traffic Stops
“Some people call me the space cowboy. Some call me the gangster of love. Some people call me Maurice…”
“Yes that’s very nice sir, now can you show me your license please?”
#107 Whip Game: Surprisingly Universal
What do a cowboy, chef, and a dom all have in common?
They must whip it, whip it good.
#108 Classic bull dodging 101
What’s the difference between a rodeo clown and a politician?
The rodeo clown tries to avoid the bull.
#109 Saloon’s quirkiest patron, no cap
What did the cowboy maggot say when he went into the saloon bar?
“Gimme a slug of whiskey.”
#110 Quackin’ Me Up, Cowboy Style
How do cowboys like their duck?
A L’arange.
#111 Boots and Brains Combo
What do you call a cowboy who helps out at school?
The deputy head!
#112 Cowboy math is wild
What weights 126 pounds and wears a Stetson?
A nine-stone cowboy.
#113 Horsing Around With Wordplay
What do cowboys say about Painful Puns that feature equines?
“Neigh!”
#114 Well, That Took a Wrong Turn
What does a cowboy call bad directions from a cow?
A bum steer.
#115 Bald Horses, No Drama
What did the cowboy call a horse with no hair on his neck?
He shall remain maneless.
#116 Cowboy texting, but make it moooooody
What do cattle ranchers like to use when they send texts?
E-moo-jis.
#117 Tech meets moo-vement
What do high tech Aussie cowboys call their stock?
E-moos.
#118 So punny, I can’t even
What do you call a frog who wants to be a cowboy?
Hopalong Cassidy.
#119 Late night, cowboy style
What do cowboys call midnight?
High moon.
#120 When your horse forgot its boots
What does it mean when a cowboy finds a horseshoe?
His horse is walking around in his socks.
#121 Peak gas and western vibes
What’s it called when cowboys eat beans at high noon?
A toot-out at the O.K. Corral.
#122 This joke just rode into my DMs
Why did the cowboy pinstripe his truck?
He needed a pick up line.
#123 Canada’s sweetest rodeo hack
Why do Canadian cowboys have sticky feet?
Maple stirrups.
#124 Well, That’s One Way to Score
Did you hear the Cowboys had a touchdown in Philadelphia yesterday?
It was at the airport!
#125 Not your average hydration hack
What is the first rule cowboys learn before filling up a canteen?
To go upstream from the herd.
#126 This Joke’s Too Good
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Heywood.
#127 Boots broke, song dropped
What did Kenny Rogers do after his favorite cowboy boots snapped into two pieces?
In tribute to his cowboy boots, he wrote the song ‘You picked a fine time to leave me, loose heel’.
#128 Puns That Bless Your Boots
What did the catholic cowboy do when he met the father of the church on his confession visit?
He greeted him by saying, “Howdy Pardoner!”
#129 Well, that explains the “wanted” poster
Why did the police arrest the cowboy for rustling?
The police arrested him because the cowboy secretly took the cattle of his neighbors!
#130 Cowboy Problems, But Make It Gas
How do you refer to a cowboy who is suffering from gastric distress?
You definitely call him Wyatt Burp!
#131 Rounding Up the Cow Count
What did the cowboy do when he counted his cows and found there were 97 of them instead of 100?
He simply rounded them!
#132 This Joke Rode Into Town
Why did the cowboy kill an artist when he went to the new west town?
He simply thought that the artist was going to draw!
#133 Justice trots on three legs
A three-legged dog walked into the saloon and said, “I’m alookin’ fer the man what shot my paw!”
#134 When hips have a mind of their own
“Girl I know how to shove my hips, I do it for a living!”
#135 Urban cowboy’s true danger drink
A cowboy enters a saloon and says to the bartender “Give me a drink for a real man!” The bartender served him a shot of whisky, but the cowboy spits it out and yell, “This stuff is for kids… give me something for a man!” Bartender makes a mix of some of the most powerful stuff he had available, even adding some kerosene, hot sauce, and finishing with a 45 caliber bullet. “Now THAT’s something good!” At that, the cowboy paid for the drink and left. A week later, the cowboy returns, “Give me another of those man drinks, but hold the bullet. Last week I threw a fart and killed the horse.”
#136 “Modern Problems, Wild West Style”
A cowboy walks into a bank wearing only his hat and his gun. A Security guard taps him on the shoulder and says “excuse me sir, you’re not wearing a mask and have to leave.”
#137 Hot takes, literally
Cowboy walks into a blacksmith shop. Starts picking up some tools and looking them over. Blacksmith starts getting annoyed. As he walks over to the him, the cowboy picks up a horseshoe that the blacksmith just made and burns his hand. Blacksmith says “did it burn ya?” Cowboy says “nope, just doesnt take me very long to look at a horseshoe”.
#138 Plot twist nobody saw coming
A cowboy shot his wife dead. When asked why he said…
“She broke her ankle.”
#139 Plot twist: it’s just snot, not vibes
So the cowboys hire a native american tracker. The tracker would often dismount his horse, look closely at the ground, sniff, put his ears on the ground, etc. So today they are riding a trail. Tracker asks for a halt, gets off the horse and holds his ears to the ground. Gets up says “Buffalo come!”
Cowboy says “Wow! You can feel the vibrations of the herd moving?”
Tracker : “No. Face sticky!”
#140 This Actually Made Me LOL
What’s it called when a cowboy has a learning disability?
Yeehawtism.
#141 Plot twist: not your average drumline
Two cowboys are on the edge of a cliff when they hear the sound of wardrums. One cowboy looks at the other and says, “I don’t like the sound of those war drums.” From below, they hear somebody shout, “He’s not our regular drummer!”
#142 Math Was Never This Thirsty
A cowboy and a Roman soldier walked to a bar, and the bartender is deaf. The cowboy wanted 4 beers, so he showed 4 fingers and the roman soldier wanted 4 beers so he showed 3 fingers.
#143 That plot twist hit different
One day the Lone Ranger and Tonto are riding in a canyon, and suddenly they are completely surrounded and cut off by angry natives.
The Lone Ranger turns to Tonto and says, “Well, this looks like the end for us, old friend.”
Tonto replies, “What you mean by ‘us,’ paleface?”
#144 Plot twist: not a psychic, just a sore dude
A cowboy is riding along a trail in the old west and sees an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground.
As he gets closer he hears the Indian saying to himself “Wagon…two gray horses… two passengers, man and woman…man driving.”
The cowboy goes “Wow! you can tell all that by just putting your ear to the ground?”
The Indian replies “No. Wagon pass half hour ago, run me over.”
#145 Plot twist called shotgun
A cowboy walks in a saloon and sees a woman talking to 4 guys. He pulls out his gun, shoots the men then walks up to her “What’s a pretty lady like you doing in a place like this all by herself?”
#146 Neigh, That’s a Mood
When does a cowboy’s horse talk?
Whinny wants to!
#147 Cow-abunga, the magic’s real
When is a cattle rancher a magician?
When he turns the cows into the pasture.
#148 Cowboys, but Make It Competitive
Which sport entails rounding up and stealing cattle as a form of dramatic entertainment?
Professional rustling.
#149 Cowboy Logic: Herding Humor
How did the cowboy know his cattle were following him without turning around?
He herd them!
#150 Lowkey Best Pun Ever
Why did the cowboy want to buy a dachshund?
To git along little doggie.
#151 Pharaoh Meets Rodeo Vibes
What will you get if you ever cross a cowboy with an Egyptian Pharaoh?
You will get Darn Tutankhamun!
#152 Plot twist: it’s all about the geese
Why are cowboys incapable of getting down from their horses?
Because they can only get down from a goose!
#153 Lowkey Deep Cow Wisdom
What kind of philosophy lessons do all the cowboys teach their cows?
They teach that when one attacks them, they will have to either move their udder cheeks or they’ll get a moooo-ve on!
#154 Parenting advice we didn’t see coming
What lesson did the cowboy teach all of his children?
Never squat with your spurs on.
#155 Didn’t See That Coming
Which side of a cowboy has scruffy hair?
The outside.
#156 Saddle Up or Shut Up
Come on now, ride your cowboy.
#157 Dream home, but make it trailer park chic
“Hey baby I’ve got a living quarters trailer with a big bed in the front.”
#158 Guess the Mouse Was the Main Course
He takes a seat at the counter and notices an old cowboy next to him with his arms crossed staring blankly at a full bowl of meaty chili. A few minutes go by and the young cowboy gets the courage to speak up “Sir, if you ain’t gonna eat that would you mind if I did?” “It’s all yours friend.” Says the older cowboy. The young man slides the bowl to himself and starts spooning the delicious chili into his mouth. He gets near the bottom of the bowl and notices that there is a dead mouse in the chili. He immediate throws up all the chili back into the bowl and looks over at the old cowboy next to him who says “Yeah that’s about as far as I got too. “
#159 When you find out the real no-drink club
A Baptist preacher sits next to a cowboy on a flight. After the plane takes off, the cowboy asks for a whiskey and soda, which is promptly brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asks the preacher if he would like a drink. Appalled, the preacher replies, “I’d rather be tied up and taken advantage of by women of ill-repute, than let liquor touch my lips.” The cowboy then hands his drink back to the attendant and says, “Me too, I didn’t know we had a choice.”
#160 This One’s Genuinely Wild
Do you know why cowgirls are bowlegged?
Because cowboys eat with their hats on.
#161 Cop cosplay, but make it Texas
What do you call a Texas cop in tactical gear?
A copsplayer.
#162 Plot twist courtesy of Donkey Theology
The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later, a donkey walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn’t believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the donkey’s mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, “It’s a miracle!”
“Not really,” said the donkey. “Your name is written inside the cover.”
#163 Paint dries faster than grudges
Little cowboy runs into a Bar shouting angerly “WHO’s the lousy varmint that painted my horse green?”
A big cowboy sidles up to him and says “I did… want to complain to me?”
“No,” says the little guy “just wanted you to know that the first coat is dry!”
#164 Okay, that’s a wild engine problem
Why did the cowboy’s car stop?
It had injun trouble.
#165 When the Wild West Meets Your Mind
What is the definition of derange?
Where de cowboys ride wild.
#166 Next up for the rodeo roast
What do Coloradans call a guy who gets on a raging bull after another rider got dumped off?
Successor to the thrown.
#167 Cowgirl BFFs, No Bull
What do young cowgirls call their lifelong buddies?
Best Friends for Heifer!
