As journeys down showbiz memory lane go, Take That’s latest is searingly honest – more warts and all than PR puffery.
Indeed, the band’s new Netflix documentary, which has topped the streamer’s ratings chart this week, is brutally unsparing about the toll of their journey to stardom, and the catastrophic emotional pressure they have endured in their 35 years in the public eye.
Of all the band’s members, Gary Barlow is perhaps the most open in front of the camera, at times painfully so. Yet from one key figure in his life there is not a word: his wife of 26 years, Dawn.
Resolutely private, those who know her say she is the key to Gary’s survival. ‘An absolute legend,’ is how one describes her.
And another source connected to Take That tells me: ‘Without Dawn, Gary would have probably remained in the many ruts he has found himself in forever.
‘She is literally the unsung hero of his success.
‘Somehow Dawn has been able to put so much of herself on hold to be Gary’s rock.
‘It’s an astonishing relationship, but she’s incredibly selfless.
‘There have been so many ups and downs, in their personal lives and in his career, but Dawn never falters.
‘She’s so strong for him – incredibly loyal, and never ever seeks to take the limelight. You almost can’t begin to understand what she has had to put up with.’
Those who know Gary Barlow’s wife, Dawn, say she is the key to his survival. ‘An absolute legend,’ is how one describes her
Having met in the Nineties, the couple married in 2000, with Dawn standing firmly by Gary’s side throughout personal and professional struggles
Gary, far right, with his bandmates. From left to right: Mark Owen, Howard Donald, Jason Orange and Robbie Williams
For not only did she have to endure the uncomfortable attention that came with the band’s peak of fame, but also Gary’s years-long battle with bulimia after Take That split in 1996. This left him so depressed that he admits he was unable to leave his house for over a year.
At his heaviest, he reached 17st and in the documentary Gary tells of his ‘excruciating’ struggles with food that left him so low he ‘just wanted to crawl into a hole’.
This was no comfort eating habit, but rather, a deep psychological rejection of fame itself, as Gary, now 55, describes.
He says: ‘There was a period of about 13 months when I didn’t leave the house once. And I also started to put weight on. And the more weight I put on the less people would recognise me.
‘I thought, “This is good, this is what I’ve been waiting for, living a normal life.”
‘So I went on a mission. If the food passed me, I’d just eat it… and I killed the pop star.’
He also talks openly about having therapy, his extreme self-loathing, and about how the collapse of Take That left him emotionally vulnerable.
Certainly the photos of that time, newly released for the documentary, show Gary looking hugely overweight and uncomfortable in his own skin.
This period, say friends, was ‘extremely difficult’ for Dawn.
Some 16 years later in 2012, however, Dawn found herself watching her much slimmed-down husband perform alongside Cheryl Cole at the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee concert at Buckingham Palace.
Gary struggled with bulimia for years after Take That split in 1996. This left him so depressed that he admits he was unable to leave his house for over a year
His weight ballooned to 17st at one point, but Dawn remained his rock during a time that friends described as ‘extremely difficult’ for her
Gary performs with Cheryl Cole at the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee Concert in 2012
Gary and Cheryl had struck up a ‘very close friendship’ while they rehearsed for the big day
Gary and Cheryl had struck up a ‘very close friendship’ while they rehearsed the cover of Lady Antebellum’s hit song, Need You Now, which they performed for the monarch.
‘It was one extreme to the other,’ says my source. ‘One minute Gary is obese and won’t leave the house, then he’s up on stage as a heartthrob and showbiz golden boy, starring into beautiful Cheryl’s eyes at the biggest event of the year. Talk about ups and downs.’
Friends say that Worcester-born Dawn, 55, is resolutely level-headed, unimpressed by celebrity and instinctively protective of her independence. She has never, for example, given a confessional interview.
Those close to the couple, who live in a £20million house in Holland Park, describe Dawn as the ‘emotional ballast’ of the family – practical, unsentimental and fiercely loyal. Where Gary is prone to introspection, she is said to be resolute. He absorbs criticism, while she filters it out as largely irrelevant.
Her calm and steady influence can certainly be seen in the couple’s three studiously sensible children, Daniel, 25, Emily, 23, and Daisy, 17.
Daniel – who became an internet sensation for his 6ft 2in height two years ago when he was seen with his father, who barely reached his shoulder – has chosen to train to be a doctor rather than become a star. Meanwhile, Emily is studying physiology.
Gary and Dawn met in the mid-Nineties while she was working as a dancer and choreographer during a period when Take That were reaching their extraordinary fame. Initially, she was an extra on an early music video for the band and later joined them on tour as a backing performer.
The pair soon got together but had to keep their relationship secret – first because of strict instructions from the band’s management, who were keen to keep the hysteria among fans as high as possible.
Later, though, their secrecy was an attempt to maintain what little privacy they had as the group’s fame skyrocketed.
Life in the limelight was hard enough for Dawn. But when Take That split, there was worse to come. As Gary admits in the new programme, he felt he was nothing without the band he had been in since the age of 18.
Shortly afterwards, he began to suffer from bulimia, with Dawn firmly by his side throughout.
Their marriage in 2000 was a deliberately low-key affair, and by then Gary had recovered to the extent that he was beginning to write for other musicians.
Dawn, friends say, was central to that recalibration, and the arrival of their three children only brought them more joy.
In 2006, Take That relaunched without Robbie Williams. Their comeback has now lasted longer than their Nineties heyday.
Friends say that Worcester-born Dawn is resolutely level-headed, unimpressed by celebrity and instinctively protective of her independence
Gary admits in the new Netflix programme that he felt he was nothing without the band he had been in since the age of 18
Dawn and Gary have refused to plaster their private life all over social media, or make their children public property, sharing only minimal insights into their family life
But while other famous families – especially in this social media age – make their children public property, Dawn and Gary have refused to do this, sharing only minimal insights into their family life.
Some trace this back to the terrible loss they suffered in 2012, when their daughter, Poppy, was stillborn.
Dawn has never addressed the tragedy, but Gary later spoke of the moment with characteristic understatement, describing it as a grief that ‘never goes away – it just changes shape’.
Those who know the couple say their fame only added to Dawn’s anguish, as an incident so intimate became unavoidably public.
As one explains: ‘It was the most awful moment of her life, but of course they understood they’re a very famous couple – there was no way to avoid it becoming news.
‘In many respects, it sums up just how tolerant she is. They have a wonderful life and in many respects are incredibly privileged, but fame is the opposite of who Dawn is.
‘She’s extremely grounded and never seeks attention, and suddenly she felt the full burden of celebrity. She hated it.’
Barely had the dust settled when another storm broke. Just months later, Gary found himself embroiled in a highly public tax avoidance scandal, when he was named among a group of celebrity figures including Jimmy Carr, broadcaster Gabby Logan and singer Katie Melua, who had used schemes that were widely condemned.
The public backlash was fierce. Friends say she was furious at the intensity of the vitriol, not least because of its timing coming so soon after the couple’s bereavement.
Still though she did not speak out, and made no attempt to manage the narrative, preferring to focus her attention on her family. ‘That was bloody tough but she had to keep Gary going, she had no choice,’ said a source.
The Netflix documentary shows Gary to be gentler with himself nowadays than he once was. What emerges is a portrait of a man who has spent much of his life trying to live up to high standards – and then punishing himself when he believes he has fallen short.
Yet he’s far from bitter at his public treatment and one can clearly see Dawn’s steadying influence on her husband. Today Gary is happier, more at ease in his own body than ever. And his success continues unabated: Take That are enjoying a renaissance with another tour.
And just as she did first time round, Dawn is staying firmly out of the spotlight.
