Each morning, Victoria Mary Clarke begins her day by speaking to her late partner, Shane MacGowan.
In her conversations, he offers guidance on the things she is facing and reminds her to care for herself with the same tenderness he showed during his life.
Nearly three years after the singer died from pneumonia and sepsis, Shane remains an active presence in Victoria’s everyday life.
‘It’s difficult all the time,’ Victoria says of losing Shane. ‘That grief was made even heavier because my sister Vanessa died from cancer and my dad died very soon afterwards last year.
‘So I feel as though I no longer have a foundation, and I’m trying to build a completely new one.’
Within a relatively short period, Victoria lost her sister, her biological father and her stepfather. Shane’s father also died soon afterwards.
‘They were the people who gave you something solid to lean on, the ones who would catch you if you fell,’ she says. ‘My sister was one of those people. We were incredibly close, almost like twins.’
Victoria Mary Clarke and Shane at the launch of Shane MacGowan’s book in 2022. Photo: Tony Gavin
A committed believer in the angelic realm, Victoria says she speaks to both Shane and Vanessa every day.
‘I use automatic writing, so they write back to me,’ she explains. ‘We talk every morning, and it helps enormously.
‘For me, the most comforting thing is knowing they haven’t disappeared. They’re in another dimension, and there is still a way to reach them.’
She describes automatic writing as a process in which a person invites a spirit to communicate through written messages.
‘You take a pen and ask them to dictate, almost as if you’re acting as their secretary. They give you the words and you write them down.
‘Sometimes it’s only one word or a few letters at a time, so you don’t know how the sentence will end. You simply keep moving the pen.’
Victoria says the practice was also used by Bertha Georgie Yeats, the wife of poet WB Yeats. She learned the technique while studying angel channeling at the School of the Living Light in Cambridge.
‘Some people receive messages as spoken words, others in writing, and some experience both,’ she says. ‘For me, it’s a combination.’
We are seated in the drawing room of Dublin’s Merrion Hotel, surrounded by the soft clatter of teacups and conversation, although none of the discussions seems quite as unusual as ours.
Victoria is the kind of person who radiates warmth. Photo: Ishmael Claxton
Victoria has a naturally warm presence. Her eyes shine almost as brightly as the blue gemstone around her neck, and as she describes communicating with the other side, she suddenly pauses.
‘You think I’m completely mad now, don’t you?’ she asks.
Yet anyone who has lost a life partner may recognise the instinct to continue speaking to the person who once occupied every part of daily life.
‘I know when it’s Shane speaking,’ Victoria says. ‘I recognise his patterns, his choice of words and the way he would punctuate or emphasise a sentence.
‘He has been incredibly helpful. He’s very practical. Even before I came here today, he was telling me to slow down, breathe, tune in and listen to my heart.’
Victoria is carrying a great deal in her mind as she speaks.
Victoria was speaking ahead of the launch of 20th Century Paddy: The Songs Of Shane MacGowan, which features other stars singing Shane’s songs. Photo: Ishmael Claxton
She is discussing 20th Century Paddy: The Songs Of Shane MacGowan, a new album that brings together celebrated musicians to reinterpret songs written by the legendary Pogues frontman.
The 26-track collection offers a wide-ranging selection of artists, each bringing a distinct style to Shane’s best-known work.
U2 deliver a lively version of Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, while Bruce Springsteen tackles Rainy Night In Soho and Tom Waits records Summer Of Siam. Imelda May and Johnny Depp appear on Haunted, and Kate Moss sings Lonesome Highway. The album also features newer acts including Madra Salach, Amble and Kingfishr.
Victoria with Johnny Depp and Shane in 2022. Depp appears on the new album
‘When you’re grieving, you need things that help you move through it,’ Victoria says of bringing Shane’s friends and admirers together for the tribute.
‘People often find it useful to focus on something constructive, something rooted in the present or looking towards the future.
‘A tribute album felt right for Shane because there were already so many people who wanted to record his songs. It gave me a reason to get up, speak to people and meet new people.
‘That kind of connection is especially important now because, for the first time in my adult life, I’m alone. I’ve never had to live this way before. It feels like completely unfamiliar territory.
‘I don’t like it and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. I’m so used to having somebody sitting in the chair beside me that the absence feels strange.
‘There’s a feeling that something is missing all the time, and I’m trying to work out how to live with that empty space. I suppose that’s why I turn on the television almost immediately whenever I enter a room.
‘I’m on my phone a lot and I try to spend as much time as possible with other people, but it isn’t the same.
‘Nothing can truly replace the person you love, the one you want to hug, kiss and touch. You can’t substitute for that.’
Victoria says Shane was a sweet and gentle person. Photo: Tony Gavin
Victoria remembers Shane as gentle and sweet, with a childlike innocence, while also possessing the forceful confidence of an alpha male.
‘He somehow held both qualities at once,’ she says. ‘He was almost like a benevolent dictator, a natural leader.’
‘He was charismatic and completely aware of his own value, but he also saw other people as equally important. To him, being a rock star did not make someone more worthy than a person living on the street.
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‘He didn’t believe in status. He believed everyone deserved the same respect and support, and that people should not be judged.
‘He had enormous compassion and empathy, along with an ability to accept people who might not have been considered particularly respectable or desirable.
‘I admired that deeply. When I met him, I was quite elitist. I wanted to be behind the velvet rope.’
Victoria grew up in an unconventional, bohemian environment, far removed from mainstream society.
‘We initially lived in a house without electricity, running water, toilets, television, radio or newspapers. We were completely outside what most people would consider normal.
Victoria says life is different since Shane died but she’s doing her best to be strong. Photo: Ishmael Claxton
‘My mother cooked over an open fire and baked bread. There was music, gardening and yoga, but I never really knew where I belonged, and I’m still not sure.
‘Even so, I wanted to be behind the velvet rope. I wanted to feel important.’
Victoria and Shane in the early years of their romance in 2007. Photo: Collins Photos
‘Shane’s outlook was the complete opposite. He believed everybody should be welcome, everywhere and at all times. You couldn’t divide people into those who were better and those who were not.
‘It took him years to help me understand that. Eventually, I came to see the enormous value in his way of thinking. I’m still working on letting go of the other part of myself.’
Victoria first met Shane when she was 16, and they began their relationship when she was 20. She says it was his confidence, bordering on arrogance, that initially drew her in.
‘It was a charming, sparkling kind of arrogance, like something from a Jane Austen novel,’ she says with a laugh. ‘He could be rude, but it was endearing, and he had such a strong sense of who he was.
‘He never needed anyone else to tell him he was worthwhile. He was basically saying, “I’m the s**t because I’ve decided I am. It doesn’t matter what you think.”’
Victoria, by contrast, was still waiting for someone else to give her that confidence.
Their relationship lasted almost 40 years. Even as Shane’s health deteriorated, neither of them realised how little time remained.
‘The hospital kept telling us they would treat whatever was wrong and that it wasn’t serious,’ she recalls.
‘It was only during the final hours that they said, “It looks as though we can’t.” Until then, it had been pneumonia and sepsis, conditions we believed were treatable.
‘I don’t think either of us understood how dangerous the situation had become.
‘It seemed as if he was improving, and I’m glad I didn’t know what was coming. I’m glad he didn’t know either. He was happy and comfortable.
‘His friends visited, he played music from his hospital bed, sang and wrote, and enjoyed having people constantly around him. I have no terrible memories of that period apart from the very end.’
The Victoria Mary Clarke speaking today is not the same woman she was three years ago. Shane’s death changed her in ways she had never anticipated.
Victoria is giving time to her own creative pursuits now. Photo: Ishmael Claxton
‘I’ve endured what I believed was the worst thing that could happen to me — losing Shane — and I’m still here,’ she says. ‘I never thought I would be.
‘I even have many good moments, which surprised me. You don’t expect that after a loss like this. Realising it has given me a strange kind of strength, one I didn’t know I possessed.’
She is now devoting more time to creative interests, including singing and acting classes.
‘I’m trying not to become stuck,’ she says. ‘There’s also a sense that I have abilities I haven’t explored yet, and I want to discover and express them. When you’re focused on the work, you can’t spend too much time thinking about everything else. I suppose golf does the same thing for some people,’ she adds, laughing.
Victoria chose not to contribute vocals to the tribute album because the experience remains too raw and she would have felt exposed.
However, she has not ruled out recording in the future. The album is only one of several projects she is developing to preserve and expand Shane’s legacy.
‘I want to do whatever I can to ensure his work doesn’t simply remain relevant, but continues to grow, evolve and reach people in as many different ways as possible,’ she says.
Victoria remains extremely close to Shane’s sister, Siobhan, who has been working to open the family home in Tipperary to the public through guided tours of the place that held such significance for him.
The new collection has also encouraged Victoria to listen to Shane’s songwriting differently.
‘As I hear the album, I’m discovering new things in the songs because they’re being presented in a different way,’ she says.
‘Kate’s version of Lonesome Highway is a good example. She has given it a very different, almost Phil Spector-style treatment from Shane’s recording.’
Victoria is thrilled that so many major artists agreed to participate, and at least half of the album’s proceeds will be donated to the Simon Community.
‘That was Glen’s charity, the one he supported,’ she says of the late singer Glen Hansard, who died after recording his contribution. Clannad singer Moya Brennan has also since passed away — another reminder, Victoria says, of how brief and unpredictable life can be.
The album will be released next Friday. Victoria expects Shane may have something to say about it when she sits down that morning to record their conversation.
‘He talks a lot about being present and not allowing yourself to become distracted, particularly by too much television. He believes our attention is scattered everywhere,’ she says. ‘And he’s right.
‘He also tells me to look after my body. He says, “I know I didn’t look after mine, but you should look after yours.”
‘He encourages me. He says, “You’re always thinking about what you have to do next, but sometimes you need to stop and acknowledge that you’ve done well.” None of it is revolutionary, but he feels like a guardian angel to me.’
And could Victoria imagine falling in love again? She smiles and replies: ‘I haven’t lost love.’
- 20th-Century Paddy: The Songs Of Shane MacGowan is released on Friday. To pre-order go to shanemacgowan.ochre.store
