Wayne Rooney has weathered many uncomfortable moments during his tumultuous 19-year relationship with Coleen, Queen of Wags.
There were those ill-advised visits to 48-year-old grandmother prostitute Patricia Tierney, also known as Auld Slapper, when he was just 16.
Then that unfortunate incident with prostitute Jennifer Thompson, when Coleen was pregnant with their first son, Kai. And oh yes, that threesome with Jen and another lady called Helen Wood.
Add in a spot of hard partying and drink-driving with a woman called Laura Simpson – plus that weird unexplained photo from last year of the 36-year-old former England player passed out in a chair in a £60-a-night Manchester hotel room as three 21-year-old girls danced around in their skimpies – and you get the picture.
Over and over, his indiscretions have been splashed across front pages as Constant Coleen has raised four teeny Wayne lookalikes without complaint – riding out the storms in style on sunbeds in Dubai, Portugal, Barbados (repeat).
Wayne Rooney (right) has weathered many uncomfortable moments during his tumultuous 19-year relationship with Coleen (left), Queen of Wags
Little wonder that, by all accounts, she rattled through 72 holidays and 107 bikinis in their first decade of marriage – good for her! But even with Wayne’s black belt in marital crisis management, the nightmare of this £3million legal Wagathon must surely be testing him.
For starters, there’s the indignity of being wedged, in his best blue suit, into the narrow seating of Court 13 as he’s ridiculed on social media for looking like ‘a giant hairy potato’ and an ‘obese Russian assassin’. (These unforgiving court sketches are doing him no favours.)
And that’s after he’s had to lug Coleen’s massive second designer handbag in every day, like a giant hired lackey. (Dainty Chanel for Queen C, galumphing Fendi for poor Wayne).
But most of all, he has to watch on forlorn, while his wife, channelling Eighties cop show Miami Vice yesterday in a £100 white Zara suit (teamed with that £4,480 handbag and one lovely £620 white Gucci loafer), is forced to hash it out in this most catty of cat fights.
How he must yearn to be anywhere else as the misery unfurls. Right now we’re back in 2017 and hearing how his marriage was (yet again) on the rocks.
‘I was in a vulnerable situation. There had been some wrongdoing by my husband,’ said Coleen magnanimously.
He can barely watch! He’s looking anywhere – his feet, the floor, the middle distance, the court stenographer – other than at his wife
He can barely watch! He’s looking anywhere – his feet, the floor, the middle distance, the court stenographer – other than at his wife. Though, of course, it is possible, given the rather extraordinary girth of his neck, that it’s simply just hard for him to turn his head to face her.
Perhaps. Or perhaps he’s simply too ashamed. Shame seems to be the recurrent theme of the day.
Before Coleen took the stand, we heard how Rebekah Vardy (who for some reason has come dressed as one of her legal team in dark suit, crisp white shirt and yodelling-Heidi hairdo) will forever be haunted by her uncharitable comments, back in 2004, about Peter Andre’s pocket rocket, and has subsequently reached out to Peter and his wife, Emily, with personal messages.
She hasn’t heard back. Perhaps Wayne could hop up and say a few sorrys, too. It might even perk him up – he certainly needs it. By mid- afternoon he looked almost catatonic!
He only started out of his heavy gloom with a burst of blinking and foot jiggling when Hugh Tomlinson QC, Vardy’s lawyer, said to the court: ‘You might believe Derby County are going to win the Premiership in two years’ time but it doesn’t mean they’re going to.’
Before Coleen took the stand, we heard how Rebekah Vardy (who for some reason has come dressed as one of her legal team in dark suit, crisp white shirt and yodelling-Heidi hairdo) will forever be haunted by her uncharitable comments
Which, given Derby County were relegated last month, was a bit unkind. Wayne, of course, is their manager.
Poor, poor Wayne. He’s certainly not all bad. During the lunch break he happily posed for a selfie with a fan in a Liverpool tracksuit and, later, when asked to sign one of the court artist’s ‘impressions’ of him, instantly obliged.
And it’s surely more than a teeny bit unfair that, while he has to sit through seven days of this endless Wagtastic witter, Leicester City supposedly can’t spare Jamie Vardy for a single afternoon.
Compared with Rebekah Vardy’s exploding car crash of the last few days, Coleen is hardly box office. But she’s clear, confident, comfortable in her carefully chosen outfit – and words – and as dignified as one can be when the soft underbelly of your marriage is exposed in all its sordid detail.
Roll on Monday…
Coleen reveals her secret split over Rooney’s ‘wrongdoing’ after nightclub
By Vanessa Allen
Coleen Rooney split from husband Wayne after he was caught drink-driving with another woman in the car, she revealed at the Wagatha Christie libel trial yesterday.
Mrs Rooney, 36, who rarely speaks about her marriage, admitted she feared the relationship might be over when the former England captain was stopped by police after leaving a nightclub with Laura Simpson.
Mother-of-four Mrs Rooney said she launched her so-called Wagatha Christie sting operation because she felt betrayed that someone had leaked information to The Sun during their marriage crisis.
Mrs Rooney told the High Court yesterday: ‘I was in a vulnerable situation. There had been some wrongdoing by my husband.
‘I was spending a lot of time at my parents’ house. I didn’t know how my marriage was going to work out. Me and Wayne were trying to figure out our relationship and where we were going.
‘But I didn’t want people to know that… I hadn’t settled on “This is it, we are getting back together”.’
Coleen Rooney (left) split from husband Wayne (right) after he was caught drink-driving with another woman in the car, she revealed at the Wagatha Christie libel trial yesterday
Wayne Rooney was driving office worker Miss Simpson’s car when he was arrested for drink-driving in Cheshire in 2017.
In an interview on This Morning Miss Simpson, then 29, said the pair had enjoyed ‘a kiss, a hug’, and that Mrs Rooney had then called her to demand to know what happened.
Mrs Rooney, who met her future husband when they were both 12, said she had taken it as a personal betrayal when details of a picture from her private Instagram account were leaked to The Sun.
It showed Rooney in bed with his children at the family home, all wearing matching pyjamas, and was seized upon as a sign the Rooneys had healed their relationship.
Mrs Rooney was dubbed Wagatha Christie after she planted fake stories on her private Instagram, some of which then appeared in The Sun.
She then tweeted that she had blocked all her followers except the person who had allegedly betrayed her, saying: ‘It’s… Rebekah Vardy’s account.’
Mrs Rooney, 36, who rarely speaks about her marriage, admitted she feared the relationship might be over when the former England captain was stopped by police after leaving a nightclub with Laura Simpson (pictured)
Mrs Rooney defended her decision to name Mrs Vardy, who claims the 2019 tweet exposed her to a torrent of abuse and death threats online.
Mrs Rooney told the court: ‘Making the post was not something that I did lightly, nor without my own evidence and good reason.
‘I am not a malicious or nasty person by any means. I genuinely did not anticipate my post getting the level of attention that it has.’
She added: ‘I certainly did not expect or want anyone to send her the abusive and threatening messages that I have seen were sent following the post. That is completely unacceptable for her and her family and I would never wish that on her.’
Mrs Rooney said she had been ‘mortified’ by the leaks from her Instagram account. She told how she had deliberated over who could be responsible, and had ultimately suspected Mrs Vardy because of the other woman’s desire for fame.
A sketch by court artist Priscilla Coleman of Coleen Rooney, watched by her husband Wayne, as she gives evidence at the Royal Courts Of Justice
She told the court she would not have classed Mrs Vardy – married to Leicester City striker Jamie Vardy – as a friend as they only knew each other through their husbands’ careers.
Mrs Rooney said she had given several warnings that she would not tolerate the leaks, and said her public tweet naming Mrs Vardy’s Instagram account was her ‘last resort’.
Mrs Vardy is suing Mrs Rooney for libel in a case tipped to cost the two women up to £3million in legal fees.
Mrs Rooney denies libel on the basis that her allegation was ‘substantially true’.
She was cross-examined by Mrs Vardy’s lawyer Hugh Tomlinson QC, who apologised for using the word ‘Wag’ in his questioning. The trial continues, with Rooney expected to be called as a witness next week.
Vardy: I’ve been bullied and intimidated
By Vanessa Allen
Rebekah Vardy said yesterday that she felt ‘bullied and intimidated’ while she gave evidence at the £3million Wagatha trial.
The 40-year-old has broken down in tears repeatedly over the last two of the four days she spent in the witness box being cross-examined by Coleen Rooney’s lawyer David Sherborne.
Asked by her own barrister Hugh Tomlinson QC how she had found the experience, Mrs Vardy said: ‘Exhausting, intimidating. I feel like I’ve been bullied and manipulated.’
It follows a series of tense exchanges with Mr Sherborne, who accused her of leaking information and of lying in her evidence to the court.
On Thursday he claimed she had betrayed her agent and friend Caroline Watt by ‘throwing her under the bus’, causing Mrs Vardy to break down, shaking her head and muttering: ‘That’s a joke.’
Rebekah Vardy is mobbed by photographers outside as she leaves the Royal Courts of Justice
The mother-of-five wiped away tears as she was accused of attempting to destroy incriminating evidence, among other allegations.
Mr Sherborne also accused her of ‘selective amnesia’ over her recollection of events.
Yesterday the wife of Leicester City player Jamie Vardy also spoke of her regret over a kiss-and-tell interview in which she revealed intimate details of a sexual encounter with singer Peter Andre. It was ‘one of my biggest regrets’, she said. Mrs Vardy said she had been ‘misrepresented’ in the article in the News of the World in 2004, headlined ‘Peter’s hung like a small chipolata’.
She said she was just 22 at the time and had been forced to do the interview against her will by an abusive ex-partner.
She said: ‘There’s a lot of things in there that did not come out of my mouth and were misrepresented. It’s shameful reading that, and one of my biggest regrets.’
Mrs Vardy said she had not spoken to Andre – who is said to have had a fling with her in 2001 – about the interview, but had sent messages to him since it was published.
Rebekah’s handbag pictures row
A celebrity spat broke out after Rebekah Vardy was allegedly caught taking pictures of the contents of a pop star’s handbag, the court was told.
Sarah Harding is said to have got into an argument with Rebekah after spotting her taking photos inside her handbag
The bizarre episode unfolded at the National Television Awards when the late Girls Aloud singer Sarah Harding was said to have caught the footballer’s wife taking the photographs.
Coleen Rooney described the row in her witness statement, saying: ‘She [Mrs Vardy] got in a spat with former Girls Aloud group member Sarah Harding during the 2018 event because Sarah apparently caught Becky taking photographs of the contents of Sarah’s handbag when Sarah had dropped it on the floor.
‘Their dispute subsequently appeared in The Sun.’
Mrs Vardy was not asked about the incident during her evidence to the High Court. At the time, her spokesman said the incident had been ‘a misunderstanding’.
Miss Harding died last year at the age of 39 after undergoing treatment for advanced breast cancer.
Coleen told: You have no evidence
Coleen Rooney has ‘no evidence’ Rebekah Vardy leaked her private information to The Sun, lawyers for Mrs Vardy said yesterday.
Hugh Tomlinson QC asked Mrs Rooney: ‘You don’t actually have any evidence to link Mrs Vardy to the leak of your private Instagram material, do you?’
The 36-year-old replied: ‘I believe that Mrs Vardy knew that this was happening, whether it was Mrs Vardy herself or it was someone she’s given permission to.’
Mrs Rooney said she had suspected Mrs Vardy as she had given interviews to The Sun and because she felt the other woman had been ‘a bit too keen’ to befriend her.
She said she had the impression Mrs Vardy thought being close to her ‘might help her own interests’. She added: ‘Over time, I also just got the feeling she was trying to give the perception of being interested or concerned… but was really just fishing for information or gossip.’
Mrs Rooney said her suspicions grew when Mrs Vardy asked if she had been blocked from her private account. ‘This whole thing was not something I thought up overnight,’ she said. ‘I’m not someone to quickly jump on things.’
She said she was ‘knocked sick’ to learn that Mrs Vardy thought to use the anniversary of the death of her sister Rosie, who died aged 14 from a rare genetic condition, as an excuse to get in touch and ‘cover her tracks’.
She said a WhatsApp text from Mrs Vardy to her agent, saying ‘maybe I should say something about Rosie’ was ‘really low and sad’.