Parents should treat all their children equally, or else it might cause resentment and conflicts between the siblings. The problem is that adults don’t seem to realize that they are playing favorites, and also don’t like being called out on their behavior.
This is exactly what happened when a woman realized that her parents thought of her brother as their golden boy and were willing to help him out financially, but weren’t open to doing the same for her. That’s why she eventually decided to take strong action against them.
More info: Reddit
When parents play favorites, it’s ultimately the kids who suffer the consequences
Image credits: 1cE_ / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster shared that her parents had gifted her unmarried older brother $30,000 to buy a house so that he could be considered a marriageable prospect
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The woman didn’t have any issues about the gift, and when she found a house she liked and wanted to buy, she decided to ask her parents for $30,000 as well
Image credits: Yan Krukau / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The woman was shocked when her parents refused to give her the money, especially since they had so willingly given the same amount to her brother for no reason
Image credits: grustock / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The parents justified their actions by saying that their son needed the house to seem marriageable, whereas she didn’t have the same issue
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Since the woman couldn’t do anything about her parents’ favoritism toward her brother, she decided to go no-contact with them
The poster made it clear that her parents always seemed to favor her brother, even though he had no savings, was in a string of broken relationships, and relied on them for everything. Since he was their only son and could carry on their family name, they treated him like a golden boy, no matter what he did.
According to mental health experts, when parents show clear favoritism towards one of their children, it can lead to a lot of resentment between siblings. This is often due to the fact that one kid might be given more resources, help, and preferential treatment, while the other is forced to manage things on their own.
This is exactly how the situation had been for the OP, who had helped her parents out from a young age, translated documents for them, filled out immigration papers, and managed her own life independently. Unfortunately, her parents seemed to have some kind of gender bias because they always put their son first.
Although it might seem obvious that adults should treat all of their children equally, research has found that parents often show unconscious bias when raising boys and girls. This inequality might start right from the beginning in the form of toys, resources, time spent with them, and even education, which seems like what the OP’s parents had been doing.
Image credits: syda_productions / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Even though the poster knew that her parents treated her and her brother differently, she was shocked when they refused to give her $30,000, just like they had given her sibling. They had, in fact, given him the money without him even having to ask, just so that he could have a home and seem more marriageable.
According to experts, parents often tend to financially favor one kid over the other, and this might happen subconsciously, especially if they don’t keep track of their investment in each child. This kind of bias might create tension in the family once the kids grow up and realize what’s happening.
That’s exactly how the woman felt when she found out that her parents weren’t going to have her back as they did for her brother. They were only willing to give her $3,000 and expected her to manage the rest on her own. They also justified their actions by saying that he needed a home so that women would want to marry him, and that she didn’t need anything like that.
Unfortunately, nobody else seemed to understand how unfairly the poster had been treated, and her relatives began calling her “selfish” and “greedy” just for ranting about her parents. That’s why she eventually decided to cut contact with them because they didn’t seem to want to support her anyway.
What do you think about the parents’ refusal to help out their daughter? Do share your thoughts on this situation, and how you would have handled it.
People sided with the poster and advised her to move out of their house since they didn’t seem to be on her side
