Christmas might have many parents asking themselves, “How many presents are too many presents?” If we were to ask the kids, they’d say that they expect between six and 10 gifts. At least that’s what the majority of British children said in a 2018 YouGov poll.
This girl got 27 presents since Christmas coincided with her birthday. But what caused the drama in her house was that her brother received only one. The dad, who showered his little girl with the gifts, felt no remorse since the boy was only his ex’s son.
However, when she asked his daughter to share her presents with her brother, he refused and asked the internet whether he was the jerk in this situation.
A dad got his daughter 27 presents for Christmas and her birthday, but got none for her 5-year-old brother
Image credits: Kateryna Hliznitsova / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
His ex became furious and demanded that he ask her to share, but the dad refused
Image credits: IVexxI / Reddit (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Vitaly Gariev / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Majestic-Pause-1696
Many parents choose to give presents to both siblings on occasions like birthdays
Navigating Christmas and birthdays is hard for parents. Sibling rivalry can rear its ugly head even when kids get on well, and presents are common catalysts for fights between siblings and feelings of resentment toward parents.
It doesn’t take a lot for kids to feel like they’re treated unfairly. That’s why many parents think of gifts for siblings on their kids’ birthdays in order not to make them feel left out. According to a recent BabyCenter survey, 54% of parents give presents to children on their siblings’ birthdays either always or sometimes.
When they don’t receive an equal amount of gifts, kids feel it’s unfair. That’s especially true in blended families. Some children even pit their divorced parents against each other, comparing what one parent got them vs. what they got (or didn’t get) from the other. Seeing that stepsiblings get more presents also creates resentment between children. The less lucky one may even act out in an attempt to seek attention or go for retaliation.
Researchers have found that some kids start feeling sibling rivalry as early as when they are one year old. So, it’s not surprising that parents start giving presents to both siblings from an early age. Of course, it’s a strategy to avoid complaints, tantrums, and tears, but childhood development experts say that it might do more harm in the long run.
But experts say that it does not teach them how to deal with disappointment and not being the center of attention all the time
When both (or more) children get presents on their siblings’ birthdays, it does not teach them how to deal with envy. Essentially, siblings will not receive equal treatment every day of their lives, and they should learn to handle the feelings that arise from it.
“For a child, not being the center of attention can sometimes be difficult, but it is not unbearable,” clinical psychologist Eileen Kennedy-Moore, Ph.D., explained to BabyCenter. Instead of buying them gifts, she recommends involving the non-birthday sibling in the preparation. Ask them to help with decorations, set the party table, greet guests, or hand out party favors. And if they don’t want to help, that’s okay too.
The birthday child should practice compassion as well. Some experts say that it’s okay if they give siblings a little something: a treat bag, a book, or stickers so that the non-birthday child doesn’t feel left out.
On the other hand, siblings will most likely find something unfair about the gifts anyway. “Children will always be able to find some way in which their sibling was given more, treated differently, or ‘better’ in their view,” child and family therapist in Charlotte, Leslie Petruk, explains.
Yet, ultimately, children will have to deal with disappointment at some point in their lives. It’s understandable that parents want to shield them for as long as possible, but at the end of the day, it can be more of a disservice, even if done out of love.
Most people agreed he was not obligated to buy the boy gifts, but he should have shown more compassion
Others thought that everyone in this family was being too petty and childish
And some straight-up dragged the dad: “What kind of person uses a 5-year-old to get back at their ex”
