Getting a joint account with a partner can be a big step in a relationship that either strengthens the bond or strains it. This is especially true if one person has bad financial habits and the other partner has to struggle to handle their mistakes.
That’s exactly what one man faced after he noticed that his girlfriend of a year had started “accidentally” dipping into their joint account money for her personal needs. At first, he tried to brush it off, but he eventually couldn’t ignore it as her expenses started snowballing.
More info: Reddit
Money can often be a source of conflict even in the strongest relationships, which is why partners should discuss it more
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The poster explained that he and his girlfriend had decided to open a joint account to use for shared expenses, and that they’d just transfer a set amount into it on payday
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
After a while, the man began noticing that his partner kept dipping into their joint account for her personal expenses, but she brushed it off as “accidents” on her part
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The poster couldn’t ignore his girlfriend’s overspending any longer, especially after she spent $480 on furniture without even mentioning it to him
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When the man finally decided to set boundaries about the use of their joint account, the woman called him controlling and said he made her feel “financially unsafe”
At first, when the poster and his girlfriend decided to get a shared bank account, there seemed to be no problem at all. Everything went smoothly for a few months as they transferred a portion of their income to the joint savings for common expenses like rent, utilities, groceries, and other important things.
According to financial experts, it can definitely be beneficial to have a shared bank account like this, but it’s also important to think through the decision carefully. Only if the couple can keep track of their individual contributions, budget wisely, and communicate honestly in case of discrepancies, might it be a good decision to start a joint account.
Unfortunately, in this case, it seems like the woman had bad financial habits and cleverly started using their shared savings for her own personal expenses. It all started with a few “small accidents” that she kept making excuses for and thought that her boyfriend wouldn’t bother much about.
It’s clear that the woman was trying to take advantage of her partner’s savings as she never asked him for permission before spending the money. In situations like this, lawyers explain that any person secretly using funds in a joint account can be liable for mismanagement and can also be made to face legal consequences.
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Slowly but steadily, the woman started ramping up her expenses, and the man was shocked when there was a $480 charge to their joint account. When he questioned his girlfriend about it, she tried to brush the whole thing off and said that she had just ordered a small desk for their place.
The poster could no longer deal with her secretive behavior, and he decided to set boundaries immediately. He told the woman that they should pause and reset because she was crossing limits with her excessive spending, and that it was not only impacting their budgeting, but had also caused them to get hit with a fee.
This kind of financial boundary-setting is exactly what professionals advise when dealing with a partner who is irresponsible with money. It’s important to protect your own assets by removing any money that’s kept in a joint account and any access they might have to your cards or bank information.
This is exactly why the man decided to keep their account card in a secure drawer, change his paycheck’s direct deposit back to his personal bank account, and only send the exact amount for bills to their joint savings. All of this obviously didn’t go down well with the woman who lashed out at him and called him “controlling” for setting such limits on her spending.
Do you think the OP did the right thing by setting such strict financial boundaries with his partner? We’d love to hear your opinions on this story.
People took the poster’s side and urged him to either get on the same page with his girlfriend about finances or to leave her
