Mel Schilling made a name for herself as a romance coach on Married At First Sight, delighting viewers with her warm and funny personality both on the Australian and UK versions of the popular show.
But while her professional life on TV was centered around helping others to find love, she experienced her own fair share of dating woes before finding her happily ever after with her ‘soulmate’ Gareth Brisbane.
Before her tragic death at the age of 54 on Tuesday after a cancer battle, the Australian-born star lived a quiet life in the UK with her husband and their 10-year-old daughter Maddie.
Mel and Gareth met slightly later in life, 15 years ago when she was nearly 40, after spending most of her 30s single.
The pair held a ‘commitment ceremony’ in Bali in July 2018, officially marrying two years later and becoming parents when Mel was 42 after turning to IVF following a devastating miscarriage.
She previously said: ‘I was single for my entire thirties. I wasn’t interested in anyone. I was busy travelling the world, working overseas, I was all about building my business and just living a great life.
‘And so we were both nearly 40 when we met, and he just turned my world upside down. I was not expecting that! We met on [dating website] eHarmony. He’s from Whitehead in Northern Ireland, but he was living in Adelaide, and I was in Melbourne.’
Mel Schilling’s touching love story with her husband Gareth: MAFS star dedicated her career to helping others find romance after her own dating woes – before finding her happily ever after
Mel and Gareth met slightly later in life, 15 years ago when she was nearly 40, after spending most of her 30s single
Before her tragic death at the age of 54 on Tuesday after a cancer battle, the Australian-born star lived a quiet life in the UK with her husband and their 10-year-old daughter Maddie
She added to OK! magazine: ‘We did long distance for six weeks, which was really pivotal in the success of our relationship, because we didn’t physically meet for those six weeks, but we were communicating every day.’
She added that once they met things moved very quickly and soon decided they wanted to have children.
Mel then sadly had a miscarriage at 12 weeks of pregnancy which she has previously described as a ‘very tough experience’.
They then had Maddie via IVF, with Mel describing parenthood as an ‘adventure’. The family then lived in Melbourne and Bali before moving to the UK.
Maddie was present when the couple held their official wedding ceremony in Melbourne, in December 2020.
Mel said she was overcome with emotion on the day, and shed teats of happiness.
‘It’s just the meaning of it all. I was a late bloomer in life, like, I didn’t meet my husband [Gareth, 48] until I was nearly 40 and then we had our daughter Madison, 6, when I was nearly 42, so to be finally saying our “I dos” was an emotional time. It was very special,’ she said.
‘Our commitment ceremony in Bali felt more like a wedding and our actual wedding felt more like a commitment ceremony, but that’s OK. We decided to make things official because Gareth and I were so keen to finish 2020 off on a positive note.
The wedding was capped at six people in total, with the family of three joined by two witnesses and a celebrant.
But before Gareth, she spent her 30s single and dating and has previously said at that time she ‘made lots of mistakes so my clients don’t have to’.
She spoke to Metro in 2023 of that time, saying: ‘As a single woman, I had built up some walls of self-protection.
‘You know the ones; the barriers that you believe keep you safe from the outside world. From playing hard to get, being quite harsh when people show you attention, cutting them off before they hurt you or playing the role of the unavailable, unattainable, unreachable enigma.
‘I was casually dating, but only half-heartedly. I dated the Man Child, the Commitmentphobe, the Class Clown – the dating archetypes we’ve all encountered.
‘I told myself that I wasn’t interested in a relationship and everything about my manner represented this.’
She went on to explain that after some self reflection she realised she needed to change her approach and became more herself when dating.
Prior to their wedding, the pair held a ‘commitment ceremony’ in Bali in July 2018
The couple held their legal wedding ceremony in Melbourne, in December 2020 (pictured) Mel said she was overcome with emotion on the day, and shed teats of happiness
Announcing her sad death in a beautiful statement, Gareth said that she had passed away ‘surrounded by love’
Mel then began to ‘attract a different calibre of man’ – eventually meeting Gareth who she says made her feel like ‘everything just clicked’.
She described him as her ‘equal’ and someone she could be ‘vulnerable’ with when they met.
Mel died aged 54 just days after revealing her cancer had spread to her brain. The dating expert was diagnosed with colon cancer in 2023.
Mel’s husband Gareth confirmed the news on Instagram,
He wrote: ‘Melanie Jane Brisbane-Schilling passed away peacefully today, surrounded by love.
‘In her final moments, when I thought cancer had taken away her ability to speak, she ushered me closer and whispered a message for Maddie and me that will sustain me for the rest of my life.
‘It took all of her remaining strength, and that gesture summed up our wee Melsie perfectly. Even then, her only thought was for Maddie and me. This is a woman who became a new mum and a TV star at 42 – and nailed both.’
‘This is a woman who, through two years of chemotherapy, when she could barely lift her head from the pillow, never complained and never stopped showing courage, grace, compassion and empathy, and never missed a day of filming.
‘To most of you, she was Mel Schilling – matriarch of MAFS and queen of reality TV. To Maddie and me, she was our wee Melsie: an incredible mum, role model, and soulmate.’
‘On behalf of our family and her incredible friendship group, thank you for the support from around the world.
‘I also want to thank our wonderful MAFS family – John, Alessandra, Charlene, Roxy, and Sophie – for your kindness and compassion.
‘To Lee, Louie, Susy, and Ian at Channel 4 / CPL, who went above and beyond for us, we will never forget it. To Sarah at InterTalent, not just an agent, but a true confidante.
‘And to the wonderful Elizabeth Day – Mel’s podcasting partner and dear friend – thank you for your friendship and empathy.’
Gareth added: ‘In her final moments, when I thought cancer had taken away her ability to speak, she ushered me closer and whispered a message for Maddie and me that will sustain me for the rest of my life’ – pictured with Gareth and daughter Maddie, who is now aged 10
Just last week the dating expert revealed that her cancer has spread to her brain and there was nothing more doctors could do, leading to an outpouring of support
He added: ‘Life can be beautiful, and life can be incredibly cruel. But ultimately, life is fleeting, fragile, and tomorrow is promised to no one. If you can do anything to honour Mel, please live life to the full, love your people well, and try not to sweat the small stuff.
‘I had 15 wonderful years with my soulmate, and it was the privilege of my life to be by her side. For that, I will be forever thankful.
‘Goodbye, my love. My one. Until we meet again.’
Mel first revealed that she had been diagnosed with colon cancer in December 2023, and she had to have surgery to remove a 5cm tumour.
In a lengthy Instagram post last week, she revealed that she found out her cancer had metastasised to her lungs in 2024, and over Christmas it was discovered it had spread to her brain.
Mel had written: ‘I honestly don’t know how long I have left, but I do know I will fight to my last breath and will be surrounded by the love and support of my people.’
She explained that she has undergone 16 rounds of chemotherapy during the past two years while also filming MAFS.
She was due to start a new clinical trial this March, however over Christmas she began experiencing blinding headaches and numbness down her right side.
After tests it was discovered the cancer has spread to her brain and there is nothing further doctors can do. She wrote: ‘My light is starting to fade – and quickly.’
Sharing a photo with her husband Gareth and daughter Madison, 10, Mel’s full statement read: ‘In December 2023 I was diagnosed with colon cancer after a tumour the size of a lemon was discovered during a scan. ‘Terry,’ as I called him, was successfully removed and I was initially given the all clear — that much many of you already know.
‘Unfortunately, in late February 2024 during a routine scan, small nodules were discovered in my lungs. The cancer had metastasised and my world changed again in an instant.
‘Over the past two years, while filming MAFS, I underwent 16 rounds of chemotherapy and was later told I was eligible for a groundbreaking clinical trial specific to my gene type, due to start in March 2026. Once again, my optimism soared that I might beat this thing.
‘Over Christmas, however, I began experiencing blinding headaches and numbness down my right side.
‘After many tests I was told the cancer had spread to the left side of my brain and, despite subsequent radiotherapy sessions, my oncology team have now told me there is nothing further they can do. Hearing those words changes everything.
‘So that’s where I am now. My light is starting to fade — and quickly. But I am still here, still fighting, and surrounded by the most incredible love.
‘Simple tasks have become incredibly difficult and I am relying on my beautiful family to look after me. I honestly don’t know how long I have left, but I do know I will fight to my last breath and will be surrounded by the love and support of my people.
‘At the outset of this journey, so many of you sent the most wonderful messages of support. They have meant more than I can ever properly express and have helped shape the mindset I’ve needed to keep fighting. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.
‘If I could leave you with one thing, it would simply be this: if something doesn’t feel right, please get it checked out. It might just save your life.
‘These two beside me are my everything. With love and gratitude, Mell’.
Last month Mel announced she was stepping away from the Australian series of MAFS after starring on the show since season two.
In a heartfelt statement, Mel revealed the decision came after careful consideration, citing ongoing health challenges and the strain of splitting her life between Australia and the UK.
Before Gareth, she spent her 30s single and dating and has previously said at that time she ‘made lots of mistakes so my clients don’t have to’
Channel 4 said in a statement soon after: ‘All of us at Channel 4 are incredibly saddened by the news of Mel’s death. Our thoughts and condolences are, first and foremost, with her family and loved ones.
‘We’re privileged to be the channel that is home to Mel’s work, which was at the heart of Married at First Sight’s phenomenal success, both in the UK and Australia. It reflected so much about her – her fierce advocacy for other women, her passion for healthy relationships and her mission to unite people in love.
‘Just as importantly, we’d like to pay tribute to Mel as a person. For many who work for Channel 4, Mel was not just a colleague but a friend, someone who radiated joy, warmth and optimism, who energised every room she walked into with humour and postivity.
‘Everyone who knew her will miss all this about her and much more. We share in the sorrow that we’re sure many viewers will now feel at this terrible loss.’
MAFS UK star Laura Vaughn wrote: ‘Darling Mel. To say you were an inspiration to many would fall incredibly short. You were a beacon of light to all who knew you, loved you and watched you around the world.
‘To know you is to be in awe of you. I remember us talking about your cancer diagnosis backstage on a campaign shoot, you grabbed my hand and with a wink you said ‘I’m a fighter, don’t you worry’ and that’s exactly what you were.
‘I feel so privileged to have met you, worked with you and experienced firsthand the kindness you gave in abundance. It embodied you. This world is a lonelier place without you in it. Thoughts are with your family and those close to you. Rest easy now.’
MAFS star Davide Anica wrote: ‘Rest in peace angel. You will be missed. My thoughts and prayers are with @mel_schilling1 family.’
Sophie Ellis-Bextor wrote: ‘I never met Mel, but I always thought she came across so well and spoke a lot of sense. Sending love to all who knew her and will endeavour to appreciate the days I have and honour her memory. Xx’
Fearne Cotton posted a string of heart emojis and Bryony Gordon wrote, ‘I’m so sorry to hear this. Sending much love to you all xxxx.’
Matt Pilmoor wrote: ‘Heart breaking, such an incredible lady. Thoughts to all her family and friends.’
Vicky Pattison commented: ‘Absolutely heartbreaking. A beautiful woman inside and out… my thoughts are with your family and friends.’
