Being childfree by choice is a lifestyle that requires a lot of consideration and discussion with one’s partner before moving ahead. The problem is that, sometimes, even folks who are sure about this decision might change their mind due to exceptional circumstances, which can end up affecting their relationship.
This is what one childfree couple faced when the man decided to adopt his orphaned 11-year-old sister despite his wife’s refusal. This decision ended up being the biggest obstacle they ever faced in their marriage.
More info: Reddit
People who are very sure they don’t want to have kids might find it tough if their significant other suddenly changes their mind about having children
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster and his wife had been together for two years and decided never to have children, which is why, when he wanted to adopt his orphan sister, she wasn’t on board
Image credits: standret / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Even though the poster’s uncle was willing to adopt the 11-year-old girl, she preferred living with her brother, which is why he was so adamant about taking her in
Image credits: Pixabay / Pexels (not the actual photo)
In an update, the man mentioned that his wife was firm about her decision to never have children, and since he was choosing his sister over her, they decided to seperate
Image credits: SharkEva
Even though it must have been tough for the man to end his marriage, he didn’t regret picking his sister and prioritizing her well-being
As the poster explained, he and his wife had decided not to have any kids, and in their two-year marriage, they had never once gotten into a conflict over that choice. All of that changed in an instant when the man’s 11-year-old sister was orphaned, and she needed someone to become her guardian.
In most situations, people who choose to be childfree often stay firm in their decision and usually tend not to waver. Experts have also found that the folks who make this choice earlier in life are often the ones who feel no regret about it when they’re older, even if other people they know are having children.
It’s possible that the poster’s wife felt very strongly about her decision to be childfree, but it might not have been as important to the man. That’s why it was much easier for him to be open to the idea of adopting his little sister and looking after her like a father figure, even though his uncle was willing to take the responsibility.
In this case, the young girl was also able to choose who she wanted to live with, but usually, the law states that parents must include a set of directives in their will that mention who will care for their minor children. Maybe the OP’s dad had not specified who would take care of his daughter, but luckily for her, the uncle and her brother were willing to step up.
Image credits: Alena Darmel / Pexels (not the actual photo)
When the man made up his mind to adopt his younger sibling, he wasn’t able to convince his wife to get on board with his decision. She kept refusing because she was sure she didn’t want kids, and was shocked that her husband was choosing his sister over her. She also gave him an ultimatum to either end their marriage over the issue or to let his uncle adopt the young girl.
Eventually, after a lot of back and forth, they decided to go their separate ways, because the poster didn’t want to abandon his sibling in such a tough time. Even though it must have been quite a painful process for him, he didn’t waver and was glad that he could protect and look after his vulnerable sister.
It can be difficult for childfree couples to figure out what to do if one partner suddenly has a change of heart. That’s why professionals advise approaching the discussion with care, empathy, and an open mind. It’s possible that both partners can decide upon a compromise, or if they aren’t able to, they can then figure out whether they need professional help or not.
In this case, the poster and his wife decided to part ways, which might be the last course of action if both people aren’t able to come to an agreement. Hopefully, the OP is glad about his decision to look after his sister, and his ex doesn’t regret her choice to remain childfree.
Could there have been any other way for the couple to work this out? We’d love to hear your opinions and ideas, if any.
People felt that both the man and his wife were justified in their decisions, and that he should have probably checked with her first about the idea of adoption
