Planning a wedding is usually one of the happiest, most exciting times in a couple’s life. But it can also come with plenty of stress—and for this Redditor, that stress quickly turned into something much darker.
He and his fiancée weren’t on the same page about a wedding tradition her family wanted. When he refused to go along with it, he claims his future brother-in-law responded by hiring a private investigator to look for “dirt” from his past. Now his personal life is being dragged into the open, his trust feels shattered, and he’s seriously questioning whether he should marry into this family at all.
Read the full story below.
The man didn’t want to do a wedding tradition his fiancée’s family insisted on
Image credits: Drazen Zigic (not the actual image)
In response, his future brother-in-law hired a private investigator to uncover “dirt” about his past
Image credits: Phát Võ Hồ Tấn (not the actual image)
Image credits: undefinedstock (not the actual image)
Image credits: DC Studio (not the actual image)
Image credits: homenycablue
Wedding prep can put a lot of pressure on couples, so it’s important to plan smart and protect your peace
Oof, who knew an event that’s meant to celebrate love could spiral into something that feels straight out of a movie plot? Most weddings don’t come with twist-level drama, but wedding planning is famously good at stirring up commotion.
A 2023 Zola survey of 4,000+ engaged couples found that 52% described planning as “stressful,” while 59% called it “overwhelming.” Only 6% said they weren’t stressed at all, which suggests that for most couples, even the “fun” parts come with a side of anxiety.
In fact, some couples don’t even make it to the big day! Another survey found that around 20% of couples break up while engaged. That, of course, doesn’t mean it happens because wedding planning went off the rails, but it does show just how much pressure this stage can put on a relationship.
So how do people get through it without losing their minds? According to expert tips shared with Brides, a few simple tips can make the process feel way more manageable.
One of the biggest ways to keep your sanity is to focus on your priorities. Wedding planner Michelle Leo Cousins suggests making a clear list of what truly matters to you and letting the rest stay flexible. That way, you’re not pouring all your energy into tiny details, and you can save your time for the parts that will actually make the day feel like yours. As she puts it, “By putting a lot of those key pieces in place right at the very start of the planning process, you’re going to avoid a lot of stress down the road.”
Family members can also add a lot of pressure, especially when parents or in-laws feel deeply invested in the event. To keep things from turning into a meltdown, it helps to sit down early on and have an open, honest conversation. Share your vision using “I” statements so it doesn’t come across as an attack, and ask what matters most to them, too. Listen without jumping to defend yourself, then work out a compromise everyone can live with.
It also helps to accept that some things will go off-script, as much as you don’t want them to. The weather might be terrible. A vendor might run late. An important guest could miss their flight—it happens. That’s why it’s smart to have some kind of Plan B in place for worst-case scenarios. When you know there’s a backup option, it’s easier to stay calm and feel like you still have things under control.
Another underrated factor is having the right support system behind you. The people you involve in the wedding process can either steady you or add more pressure. Psychologist and relationship expert Dr. Sherrie Sims Allen emphasizes choosing a crew you feel safe being honest with, so when you’re overwhelmed, you’re not carrying everything on your own.
And through all of it, keep dating your partner. Planning can turn a relationship into an endless project-management meeting, which is a mood-killer. Prioritize spending time together that has nothing to do with seating charts or timelines, so you’re still connected to the reason you’re doing any of this in the first place.
Image credits: freepik (not the actual image)
Readers were split, though many agreed it was an incredibly messy situation
