In Gilmore Girls, the friendship between mother and daughter Lorelai and Rory is the center of the series’ orbit. Their best friend relationship in Gilmore Girls has been the envy of viewers for 25 years, although this was not without its problems. However, the series also showed so much potential for other female friendships to flourish, only to fail them. Gilmore Girls was so far ahead of its time in terms of women-centric television, but this is one area where they really dropped the ball.
This is especially a shame considering the cozy community feel of Gilmore Girls’ Stars Hollow. Everybody looks out for each other, and nobody is anonymous, with the town’s quirky residents often counted as some of the biggest fan-favorite characters. Unfortunately, key Stars Hollow characters are often in the shadow of the more self-centered Lorelai and Rory, which completely wrecks some of the show’s core female friendships.
Gilmore Girls’ Two Biggest Friendships Started Off Strong But Didn’t Live Up To Their Potential
The World Ultimately Revolves Around Lorelai And Rory
Lorelai’s friendship with Sookie is not just a business partner bond. Sookie provides unwavering support and shares Lorelai’s biggest dreams, like opening their own inn, but both are invested in each other’s personal lives. Their loyalty runs deep, making Sookie a constant. While she’s friendly with many, her deepest capacity for a friend is reserved for someone as integral to her world as Sookie. This works for the earlier seasons, but later on, the cracks begin to show, especially when they’re trying to get the Dragonfly Inn off the ground.
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Similarly, Rory and Lane’s friendship looks promising early on, only to disappoint. There is a lack of reciprocal support on both sides. Lane often seemed to offer Rory a superficial form of comfort. Instead of engaging with Rory’s struggles, especially during conflicts with Lorelai or pivotal life decisions like dropping out of Yale, Lane frequently offered platitudes. But in some ways, this is understandable — Rory consistently remained absorbed in her own romance and school worries, even during Lane’s big moments, like when she was shipped off to Korea for the summer.
The Later Seasons Of Gilmore Girls Made Lorelai & Rory Too Self-Absorbed To Be Good Friends
Key Events Show Lorelai And Rory’s Disregard For Others
While Lorelai and Sookie share a great friendship, it’s not without its imperfections — and the fault is not only with Lorelai. There are instances where Sookie’s self-absorption can overshadow Lorelai’s needs, particularly during moments of personal crisis. When Lorelai’s engagement with Luke ends, Sookie’s immediate reaction is the accusatory, “What did you do?” Similarly, upon learning about the strain Luke’s child put on their relationship, Sookie’s thoughts immediately turn inward, speculating about Jackson’s past.
In the thick of their painful estrangement, their inability to set aside their issues for their friends becomes glaringly apparent.
Lorelai is also not without her self-absorbed moments in their friendship. During the baptism of Sookie and Jackson’s children in Gilmore Girls season 6, episode 4, “Always a Godmother, Never a God,” Lorelai’s unresolved conflict with Rory erupts spectacularly. In the thick of their painful estrangement, their inability to set aside their issues for their friends becomes glaringly apparent. Their ensuing argument rudely halts the baptism, a moment even Rory, despite her questionable choices during this period, recognizes as inappropriate.
Netflix’s A Year In The Life Revival Made The Original Show’s Lane & Sookie Problems Worse
The Revival Did More Damage To These Supporting Characters
If the later seasons of Gilmore Girls reduced Sookie and Lane to foils for Lorelai and Rory, this was made even worse in A Year in the Life. These two colorful characters seemed even more relegated to the sidelines in the show’s contentious revival. Lane’s passion for music took a backseat to her home life with Zach and their twins in the show — a storyline reviled by fans — and in the revival, Lane had almost no storyline at all. Meanwhile, Sookie only had one brief appearance in A Year in the Life, and it was all in service to Lorelai.
Sookie and Lane’s individual struggles and dreams, which had provided texture to Stars Hollow, became less important the further Gilmore Girls progressed. This further solidifies a common viewer complaint that Lorelai and Rory are too absorbed in themselves and each other, often doing a disservice to other characters.
Gilmore Girls
9/10
- Release Date
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2000 – 2007-00-00
- Writers
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Amy Sherman-Palladino
