Tarsh Cooper will never forget the day she lost her husband Ash after he was given a gut-wrenching diagnosis no one saw coming.
The ‘fit and healthy’ dad died at age 39 on Christmas Eve in 2024, just 12 months after discovering he had stage four bowel cancer.
Before his shock diagnosis, the civil engineer began experiencing minor symptoms that ‘could all be explained away’.
The dad of three had lost some weight and noticed blood in his stools, but he put both symptoms down to stress at work and weightlifting.
Despite multiple visits to a GP, including a prostate check in December 2023, the doctor concluded Ash was ‘too young’ and did not present enough symptoms to warrant further screening for other potential issues.
It wasn’t until he started suffering excruciating stomach pains that he knew something wasn’t right, so he went to hospital with what he believed to be gallstones.
He was discharged with a referral and an ultrasound appointment scheduled for late January 2024. However, Ash’s pain became unbearable, prompting the Tasmanian family to seek an earlier appointment.
Just an hour after the scan, his GP urgently called him back to the office. Still convinced he may have gallstones, Ash decided to go alone while Tarsh waited at home after picking up their three kids from school.
‘I’ll never forget that look on his face when he walked in the door. He just walked in and cried, which was very much out of character for him,’ Tarsh, 38, told Daily Mail.
Tarsh Cooper will never forget the day she lost her husband Ash on Christmas Eve in 2024 after he was diagnosed with stage four bowel cancer. Pictured with their three kids – Ivy, 5, Hazel, 7, and Jack, 9
Cancer never crossed his mind, but his GP informed him the 8cm mass in his liver was suspected to be something much more serious.
‘The next day was a blur, filled with medical appointments and family events – including our children’s final day assembly and end-of-school-year celebrations,’ Tarsh explained.
‘By 4.30pm that same afternoon, we were back at the GP’s office. It was there that we received the devastating news: Ash had stage four bowel cancer.
‘It was surreal. I don’t think either of us really slept or ate much for the first few weeks, and we just wanted to spend time with the kids. It was this crazy fog of a time and so much information to get your head around.’
Just five days after Ash was diagnosed at the age of 38, Tarsh underwent an emergency surgery to remove a lung after it collapsed.
‘It was a crazy time,’ she said.
‘Our whole world blew up’
The mum said she can’t fathom how their world suddenly came crashing down – just two months after enjoying the perfect family holiday during which they reminisced just how fortunate their life was.
‘We went on our holiday in October 2023 and we were talking about our beautiful family and how we’re living our best years. We have these beautiful kids and work is going well,’ she recalled.
‘I remember sitting there with Ash talking about how beautiful our life was and we’re so thankful for everything we’ve got.
‘Then come mid-December, and we find out Ash has cancer. Our whole world just blew up. We went from great, healthy parents to me being discharged on Christmas Day and Ash having biopsies.
‘It was just absolutely shell-shocked that absolutely took a toll on the kids.’
The ‘fit and healthy’ dad began experiencing symptoms that ‘could all be explained away’
‘If I explain Ash to people, it almost sounds like he’s made up because he’s just smart, intelligent, fun-loving and just a real people’s person. He was a great dad and husband’ – Tarsh
Despite the rounds of chemotherapy, radiation, and enduring months in hospital due to liver complications, Ash’s cancer proved to be aggressive.
‘I thought, we can fight this. If anyone can do it, it’s Ash. He’s strong and if he puts his mind to it, I’m sure he can go through hell and high water to overcome it,’ she said.
‘But we just got bad news after bad news after bad news. The results came back to say it was actually a very aggressive mutation. It felt like we reached a point where we were drowning in bad news, and we couldn’t get our heads above water.
‘He started chemo on January 12, 2024, and his oncologist said it’s not treatable. It’s not that she can’t take it away, but she can prolong life for as long as his body can handle it, or as long as his cancer responds to the treatment.’
Race against time
Tarsh said the ‘beautiful’ oncologist went above and beyond to give Ash the medical care he desperately needed.
‘He spent most of his time in hospital from liver complications because he had a few metastases in his liver, so he underwent several surgeries,’ she explained.
‘His oncologist really went to bat for our family in the hospital. Ash was terminal so she fought for time, so we are so thankful for the time we had with him.’
The devoted dad was quite unwell but he was determined to go to every school event for his kids – including the Christmas carols.
Ash in hospital with his three kids – Ivy, Hazel, and Jack – by his side
Despite the rounds of chemotherapy, radiation, and enduring months in hospital due to liver complications, Ash’s cancer proved to be aggressive
‘He was in so much pain but he knew it was important for the kids,’ Tarsh said.
‘I wheeled him there and had medication in my handbag, I just kept him as comfortable as possible.’
Ash’s condition deteriorated, with his weight dropping dramatically and his skin turning yellow due to his liver complications.
‘It’s time for me to go’
‘I remember waking up on December 22, and Ash just said, ‘It’s time for me to go.’ I said, ‘to the hospital or to go to heaven?’ And he said, “heaven”,’ Tarsh said as she fought back tears.
‘He wanted to do that in hospital because he’d spent a lot of time in there and the kids were very comfortable there.’
With his wife Tarsh and their three kids by his side, Ash took his last breath in hospital at 10.20pm on Christmas Eve in 2024.
‘My kids said goodbye to their daddy,’ Tarsh said.
‘I remember my son Jack saying, ‘I just don’t want daddy to die on Christmas Day.’ Obviously, no one could predict how long it would take but I believe Ash made sure it wasn’t Christmas Day.
‘We gathered to honour his memory and say our goodbyes at his funeral, held on what should have been his 40th birthday.’
Ash spending quality time with his loving family just weeks before he died from cancer
The kids have been looking for ways to make a positive change in the world. One of the most rewarding things they did in 2025 was raising $10,000 for a cancer charity
Paying tribute to her doting husband, Tarsh said Ash was loved by everyone, from his family and friends to the employees at the construction company he owned.
‘If I explain Ash to people, it almost sounds like he’s made up because he’s just smart, intelligent, fun-loving and just a real people’s person,’ Tarsh said.
‘He was the epitome of an extrovert, a great dad and husband. He was so generous in all aspects and he always lifted everyone’s spirits, no matter what was going on. I know this sounds cliché, but he really lit up the room – he just loved everybody.’
It’s been a year since losing Ash – and there isn’t a day that goes by that the family isn’t thinking about him.
‘A lot of people were saying to me, ‘Last year was the hardest year of your life’, but honestly, this year is the hardest year of my life because I don’t have Ash and the kids don’t have their dad,’ Tarsh said.
‘When he was sick, he was here but he’s not here anymore. What I’m trying to teach my kids is that the best way we can deal with our grief and not get bitter at life is by looking outside of ourselves.
Make the world a better place
‘How can we help to make the world a better place and what can we do to bring some positivity to the world?’
Her kids joined a ‘beautiful’ organisation called Feel the Magic, which offers a range of support programs designed to help children cope with the loss of a loved one.
‘It has made a huge difference for them,’ Tarsh said.
‘The kids have raised $10,000 at Relay For Life earlier this year. They’re always looking for ways that they can make a positive change in the world.’
Paying tribute to the doting dad and husband, Tarsh said Ash was loved by everyone, from his family and friends to the employees at the construction company he owned
With Christmas just around the corner, Tarsh is taking the kids away on holiday.
‘My plan this year is to celebrate Christmas on a different date,’ she said.
‘We’re going away so we can be free to feel what we need to feel and acknowledge what we want to acknowledge. There’s a lot of expectation for us to be really sad, but the reality is he’s missing from every moment of every day.
‘Taking one day at a time’
‘I’m not going to push any grief onto them. I’m hoping over time that it won’t have much of a sting for them. And if we need to continue to celebrate Christmas at a different time, we’ll just do that, and we will just take it one day at a time.’
The mum said she’s working to navigate her family through grief.
‘It’s so easy for myself and for the kids to get wrapped up in the ‘why me, why us, why our family?’ They still ask those questions. But I’m trying to help them step outside of themselves and it helps us feel some joy and get that focus away from it,’ she said.
‘The kids had some really lovely experiences this year, and every experience is also tinged with grief and sadness. Even when we’re experiencing joy, there’s still that stain that comes with everything, and that’s okay.
‘It’s okay to feel what we need to feel and it’s also okay to be happy in those moments too. I guess it’s just about making peace with that… That tension of joy and grief as time goes on.’
‘The reality is painfully clear’
By sharing their story, Tarsh hopes to remind everyone of the life-saving importance of early detection.
‘The reality is painfully clear: if Ash’s cancer had been detected earlier, he would still be here with us… This is now a young person’s cancer,’ she said.
‘If you are worried about being a bother, don’t… because I’d rather be a nuisance now than have to deal with everything that we’ve gone through the past two years.’
Tarsh Cooper shared her family’s empowering story during Bowel Cancer Australia’s annual Decembeard campaign to help raise awareness and challenge misconceptions, in memory of her husband Ash.
