Going no-contact with anyone, especially your loved ones, is a huge decision. And yet, it might be the only option left for you if your parents constantly trample over your boundaries and aim to hurt you, your spouse, and your newborn.
One woman vented online about the massive chaos that her own mother unleashed in her life after filing a fake Child Protective Services report full of lies and fake accusations. She suspects this was her mom’s revenge against her for setting boundaries. Scroll down for the full story in the author’s own words, including an update.
It can be nightmarish to finally realize that someone who is meant to have your back actually wants to destroy your life
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This woman revealed how her toxic mother, a CPS worker, filed a fabricated report against her
Here’s how everything started
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The truth finally came out
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The woman finally decided that enough was enough and went no-contact with her mother after the ordeal
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Going no-contact with someone toxic is a big decision, but it can create enough space for you to rest, heal, and recover
Filing a report with CPS is a huge deal. It’s not a decision that you should take lightly. If you strongly suspect that a child is being mistreated, yes, you can and should contact CPS as soon as possible.
But you should never file fake reports because you want to get revenge against someone. What’s even more concerning is that the author of the viral post noted that her mom is actually a CPS worker. Misusing one’s position to settle personal vendettas is unethical and also harms the reputation of the organization.
“Because she works for CPS in another state, she knew the exact language, trigger phrases, and wording to get it to land despite her having never met our daughter,” the author wrote about her mother’s retaliatory CPS report.
If someone repeatedly ignores the boundaries you’ve set, repeatedly ignores your warnings, and actively tries to damage your life, it might be worth considering cutting off all contact with them.
The Cleveland Clinic explains that one of the main benefits of going no-contact with someone toxic includes mental and emotional clarity. When you remove yourself from a bad situation, you can reduce the symptoms of anxiety and depression and boost your sense of self-worth.
What’s more, going no-contact can empower you, offer you stability, and give you space for self-care and healing. On top of that, this can be your way of putting a stop to the toxic conflicts and behaviors that you grew up with.
“You’re breaking trauma cycles because you’re modeling healthy behavior for others who are watching, like your kids or your friends,” psychologist Chivonna Childs, PhD, stressed.
That being said, no-contact isn’t a perfect solution. It comes with a host of drawbacks. For one, there is no guarantee that cutting off contact with a toxic individual will make them reflect on their actions and change their behavior.
Other potential issues include things like family dynamics becoming even more complicated, new logistical issues popping up, and you feeling guilt, loneliness, or even grief. Moreover, the toxic individual that you’ve cut out might decide to retaliate and not respect the new boundaries that you’ve set.
Boundaries are healthy. And yet, just because you went no-contact with someone doesn’t mean that they’ll respect your decision
According to Dr. Childs, planning helps when choosing to go no-contact. You first have to set a goal that you hope cutting off contact will achieve, and consider other options like therapy, limited contact, or a short-term break. Try to think of a few ways that cutting the individual out of your life might go.
Next, it’s always helpful to find social support during this time. You should prioritize your healing and consider speaking to a mental health professional before, during, and after going no-contact with the toxic person. Most importantly, have a safety plan to protect yourself and your loved ones.
“When you go no-contact, it’s usually because that person’s already crossed your boundaries. So, them not adhering to a no-contact request is something you need to be ready for,” Dr. Childs warns. She notes that you should keep records of any unwanted attempts at contact, including calls, trespassing, etc.
“That’s when you can take it to the courts. You can ask for a restraining order or protection order if necessary.”
As Wondermind points out, the entire goal of boundaries is to help people maintain healthy relationships, not keep them apart. Someone who keeps disrespecting your boundaries, even when you remind them of your limits, might not be willing to change their behavior.
“I believe that if someone is being hateful and they have been told how this is hurting you, yet they continue to do so, this is a person who does not have your best interest at heart. They are likely not capable of having a reciprocal healthy relationship with you,” Whitney Goodman, LMFT, told Wondermind.
What are your thoughts about the entire tense family situation? How would you react if someone you knew filed a fabricated CPS report against you? How do you protect your boundaries and peace from the toxic people in your life?
Later, the author shared even more context
Here’s what people had to say after reading the stressful family saga
Later, the woman revealed that she finally read the CPS report. It was far worse than she ever imagined
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After sharing the follow-up post, the author revealed even more details
Even more people shared their perspectives about the horrid situation
