Shirley Ballas has revealed that she received ‘disdainful stares’ at her father’s funeral after describing him as a ‘deadbeat dad’.
The Strictly Come Dancing judge, 64, had a difficult relationship with her father George, known as Andy, after he left the family home when she was two and was absent for much of her life.
In an extract from her new book Best Foot Forward seen by The Mirror, she writes: ‘I was waiting to feel something, to have any sort of reaction to his passing despite everything that had gone before, but none came.
‘I went to his funeral where I felt certain people were looking at me… there were definite disdainful stares in my direction, probably because it was shortly after my autobiography had been released where I’d described him as a deadbeat dad.
‘Part of me is sorry I ever put that line in the book as I know it looked terribly stark in print, but I’m always honest and that was my truthful experience of him as a father.’
She added that her father also had a volatile relationship with her mother Audrey due to his drinking.
Shirley Ballas has revealed that she received ‘disdainful stares’ at her father’s funeral after describing him as a ‘deadbeat dad’
The Strictly Come Dancing judge, 64, had a difficult relationship with her father George, known as Andy, after he left the family home when she was two and was absent for much of her life (seen with her dad and son Mark)
Andy – who died in 2021 aged 83 – went on to marry three more times after divorcing Audrey, with Shirley admitting she was ‘mad at him’ for how he treated her mother.
She told how she would even call him Andy rather than Dad or Daddy as she felt their connection was so distant.
Th star added that although she had a ‘slight wobble’ at his funeral the feelings quickly passed.
She went on to explain that when she died she said she didn’t want anything left to her from him as he’d ‘given her nothing throughout his life’.
Also in the book she revealed she thought ‘she’d be better off dead’ and turned to alcohol to cope with depression during the menopause.
She explained that she felt anxious, depressed and desolate during the time.
In her upcoming book the dancing star confessed that she thought she was ‘losing the plot’ during her ‘darkest hours’.
Shirley’s brother David died by suicide aged 44 back in 2003 and the star has spoken openly about her ‘overwhelming grief’ after the tragedy.
The TV personality also revealed that she used to turn to booze to try and numb the pain.
She added that her father also had a volatile relationship with her mother Audrey due to his drinking
In an extract from her new book she writes: ‘I was waiting to feel something, to have any sort of reaction to his passing despite everything that had gone before, but none came’
Since her brother’s death, Shirley has become an ardent campaigner for mental health awareness, even setting up charity The Ballas Foundation with her son Mark, 38.
Her son, who was a professional ballroom dancer on Dancing With The Stars in the US, previously opened up about the incident on his website.
In a blog post on his blog unearthed by The Mirror in 2017, he wrote: ‘For me, it’s about raising awareness of depression. It’s not like a mood swing.’
‘People struggle with it every day. Nothing matters. My uncle’s daughter was everything to him, but it didn’t matter because he was sick.’
‘You have to make people aware of it so they can recognize it and help people get better.’
The post continues: ‘The family was not only left with overwhelming grief, but guilt. You keep thinking maybe you could have done something.’
David and Mark had been especially close since he helped look after him while Shirley pursued dancing opportunities in the US.
Shirley and her son decided to go public with their story in 2010 in a bid to raise awareness for suicide prevention.
And in 2024 Shirley revealed she ‘blames’ herself for her brother being alone the day he died because she encouraged her mother to come to a show her son was in.
Speaking on the Great Company with Jamie Laing podcast, Shirley told how her brother had been struggling with his mental health and the family had previously tried to get him sectioned but he wouldn’t go to the hospital.
She said: ‘I was wrapped up in my life, because at that time, I had two other children I was taking care of, plus my own son, and they were all dancers, and I was just wrapped up in my world of ballroom dancing.
‘I was in London. He was up north, and my mother went to stay with him for six weeks. But my mother’s old school, and they don’t share.
‘So, what I should have done then, if I look back now, is gotten the car straight away and gone to see the situation for myself. He was just in a bad place.
Also in the book she revealed she thought ‘she’d be better off dead’ and turned to alcohol to cope with depression during the menopause
The star, whose brother David died by suicide aged 44 in 2003, explained that she felt anxious, depressed and desolate during the time
‘He explained it like being in a dark, black hole that he couldn’t climb out of. He’d lost a lot of weight, and the doctors couldn’t help him.
‘We tried to get him sectioned, and when, apparently, I wasn’t there, but my mum was. When they took him in the car and they pulled up to the hospital, he recognized somebody that was stood on the steps, and he was too he was the macho man on the housing estate, and he was too embarrassed, he made them turn the car around.
‘So had she not been there that day, then maybe things could have been different. And it just nobody talked about things like that. No one talked about things like that at all, and they just popped in with pills, you know, like these antidepressants.’
If you have been affected by this story, you can call the Samaritans on 116 123 or visit www.samaritans.org
