The dating game has changed beyond recognition, and perhaps beyond repair – and everyone is holding Gen Z accountable.
Incoming is the generation’s newest – some say toxic – dating trend: Shrekking. Yes, named after the cute – some say ugly – ogre from the popular film franchise Shrek.
Brace yourself though as the official definition is actually much worse. Shrekking is the act of ‘dating down’ – choosing someone deemed less attractive than you are to go out with.
The idea behind the dating concept is to forget your partner’s looks and prioritise what really matters, like personality, kindness and communication.
A quick scroll through TikTok, Instagram or X suggests the term is gaining popularity.
Shrek first hit screens in 2001 and stars Mike Myers as the lead character and Eddie Murphy as Donkey. The beloved tale quickly became a classic and it hasn’t budged since.
Shrekking draws inspiration from what Shrek fans have deemed the ‘ultimate love story’ – a green ogre named Shrek who falls in love with a beautiful princess called Fiona, one surprisingly requited despite his unconventional looks.
The twist comes when Fiona herself is revealed to be a cursed ogre, however Shrek’s true love for the ‘real’ Fiona ultimately breaks the curse and the pair get married and live happily ever after.
Gen Z’s newest dating trend? Shrekking –
London-based content creator Sip Of Comfort (pictured) said Shrekking is ‘Dating someone who is less attractive, or intentionally finding someone who is less attractive simply to get the attention that you think you need in a relationship’
The story emphasises loving someone for their true self, rather than superficial looks. This, apparently, is the entire premise of Shrekking.
For anyone amused by the term, serial daters and content creators have highlighted that Shrekking is a two-way street.
London-based content creator Sip Of Comfort recently explained: ‘Dating someone who is less attractive, or intentionally finding someone who is less attractive simply to get the attention that you think you need in a relationship is called shrekking’.
Speaking on TikTok, she questioned whether women felt that if they dated someone more aesthetically pleasing than themselves, they would be at risk of mistreatment from their partner.
She ended the video by asking viewers if they knew anyone who had been ‘shrekking’, creating a moment of introspection for anyone who had exhibited the behaviour.
But there’s more. ‘[It’s] a horrible new trend in dating’ writes another British influencer on TikTok. ‘It’s called getting Shrekked. It’s when you give a guy a chance and really lower your standards to a man that looks like Shrek and you get absolutely traumatised’.
Shrekking apparently doesn’t insulate you from a broken heart or even guarantee a desired outcome.
According to a video shared by Florida-based influencer, thatmoderndadlife, shrekking is ‘as messy as it sounds’. In the clip, a man explains why shrekking is a ‘trap’.
According to one creator @shemanageslife (pictured) women who Shrek are getting ‘Shrekked’ themselves – they are being left heartbroken by the ugly man they lowered their standards for
‘You might think you’re playing it safe, but you’re actually playing yourself’ he said.
‘You show up with nothing to lose thinking they’ll never leave you but here’s the kicker: they do. Why? Because controlling someone doesn’t build connection, it builds resentment.
He said shrekkers were likely to end up broken, because they gave up their worth to someone they deemed below them.
‘You tried to avoid heartbreak but guess what it found you anyway; he continued. ‘Now you’re left wondering why you shortchanged yourself.
‘Don’t Shrek yourself. Demand better. You deserve deserve it’ he concluded.
So why are women turning to fairytales about monsters and princesses to navigate dating in the real world?
Licensed therapist Rachel Maldonado said it’s all about ‘romance’.
Shrekking draws inspiration from a green ogre named Shrek who falls in love with a beautiful princess called Fiona, one surprisingly requited despite his unconventional looks
Writing on X, the Chicago expert said Shrekking simply means: ‘You’re hot… they are not. So they better treat you nice!’
‘My take as a therapist is that I also appreciate pragmatism’ she continued.
‘I’d like to delve deeper to showcase that Shrekking, although a new Gen Z term, is as old as the hills in that each person always subconsciously evaluates a potential romantic love interest.
‘You do it too, you make your own conscious or subconscious calculations, to get to your desired outcome’.
Daters are weighing in on the Shrekking conversation, some have questioned the idea while others are grateful for it
She said Shrekking was nothing more than a calculation of what you desire versus what you can get from a partner in return.
‘That’s romance Guys and Dolls’ she concluded.
Daters are weighing in on the Shrekking conversation, with some asking how traumatic it could be that your monster-adjacent partner ends up behaving like, well, a monster.
One man wrote on X, ‘People think ‘dating down’ equals loyalty and security. But in reality, it creates power imbalance, reduces love to looks/status and leads to heartbreak and resentment’.
But it’s not all bad, some husbands have taken to the platform to share their positive experiences of being ‘shrekked’.
‘My wife definitely Shrekked, and I’m pretty happy she did’ wrote one man.
‘Grateful my wife Shrekked.. poor lass’ joked another.
‘Many thanks to the ladies who mercifully Shrekked me into their lives over these many years’ added someone else.
