The festive season might be filled with a collective sense of optimism, but according to one relationship expert, December can also be the most dangerous time of year to date.
Perth-based matchmaker Louanne Ward, who regularly shares no-nonsense dating advice with her 26,000 Instagram followers, says the holidays have a way of lowering our guard and amplifying our emotions.
As a result, many people become far more vulnerable to the wrong kind of romance and ignore the red flags, but Louanne has listed six types of men to keep on your radar this month – and beyond.
‘Have you ever noticed the holiday season brings on extra feelings of hope, romance or can magnify the pangs of loneliness?’ she asked her audience.
‘This time of year, your guard is down, mood is high and your heart is open.’
And while December can be a perfectly good time to meet someone new, Louanne warns that not all daters are created equal, especially in the lead-up to Christmas.
However, it’s not all bad news for singletons, with her noting that one of the six is a true ‘gift’ that is well worth waiting for.
Perth-based matchmaker Louanne Ward (pictured), who regularly shares no-nonsense dating advice, says the holidays have a way of lowering our guard and amplifying our emotions
The love bomber
First on Louanne’s list is the man who comes in hot, otherwise widely known as a ‘love bomber.’
She explains that this can show itself in the form of excessive attention, over the top gifts, and constant contact, but during the festive season, this intensity can easily be mistaken for romance.
‘It feels romantic because it’s the season of giving so the intensity doesn’t feel out of place. But love bombing isn’t romance. It’s control disguised as affection.’
And according to Louanne, the whirlwind behaviour isn’t about connection at all. ‘They’re hooking you before you see who they really are.’
The ‘it’s complicated’
Next is the man with a messy backstory, and a convenient excuse for everything that may lead to mixed signals and confusion.
‘Sob stories about relationships on the rocks, sleeping in separate rooms, waiting until after Christmas to tell the kids,’ she warned.
‘It’s not complicated. They’re not single. They’re not free. You’re just getting pulled into a mess.’
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As a result, many people become far more vulnerable to the wrong kind of romance and ignore the red flags, but Louanne has listed six types of men to keep on your radar this month – and beyond
The player
December social calendars are packed, and for the player, that’s exactly the point because he can have his cake and eat it too, Louanne said.
‘He loves the thrill of the chase, because to him, it’s all about the dopamine rush,’ she added, describing a man who is charismatic, charming and knows exactly what to say to fast-track you to the bedroom.
However, with Christmas parties and end-of-year events creating endless opportunities, she warned that while you might think you’re building something meaningful – you’re most likely one of many.
The desperate dater
Then there’s the man who seems almost too keen, but that’s not always a good thing unfortunately.
‘These guys are dating like an Olympic sport – always available, saying yes to everything, and working around your plans.’
The constant messages and need for validation might feel flattering at first, but Louanne cautions it quickly becomes draining.
‘You’re a crutch built on their fear of being alone, and by the New Year you’re exhausted. You’re not their person, you’re their emergency contact.’
However, it’s not all bad news for singletons, with her noting that one of the six is a true ‘gift’ that is well worth waiting for
The rebounder
Fresh out of a relationship, the rebounder often believes he’s ready to move on, even when he’s not.
‘He’s simply starving for attention, and everything escalates fast because he knows what you need,’ Louanne explained.
But beneath the surface, she says their emotional tank is empty, and the odds aren’t promising.
‘I’d say 90 per cent of rebounds fail within three months, and by the New Year, they’re gone completely.’
The GIFT
Finally, there is the rare exception – and that’s the man worth waiting for, otherwise known as the ‘gift’.
‘This guy mirrors your genuine intentions,’ she said.
‘He’s actually available, he’s emotionally ready, and he has the time and energy to invest in something real.’
She also adds that there are no hidden agendas or festive deadlines and ‘they genuinely want to know you.
So, before diving headfirst into a holiday romance, she urges singles to pause and reflect.
‘First, just ask yourself, ‘are you their gift or stocking filler?”
