A 35-year-old woman has gone viral for sharing a story of how she ended a first date immediately after realizing the situation felt intentionally humiliating.
In a TikTok video that has gained almost a million views, she explained that her date told her to dress casually, only to arrive with plans to take her to a fine dining restaurant. Netizens appreciated the woman’s actions, believing it drew a clear line in the sand about dating decency and red flags.
The TikTok creator said the instructions felt casual until she saw how he showed up
Image credits: www.tiktok.com
Rachel Anderson, a TikTok creator with the handle @rachelanderson471, shared her story in a video that has since gained over 900,000 views and over 6,500 comments.
Her video was captioned with the words “First date lasted less than two minutes.”
She said the man she agreed to meet advised her to dress comfortably and “act like it’s a lounge day at home.”
Taking him at his word, Anderson arrived dressed casually with her “hair in a bun, no jewelry, no nothing,” according to the Daily Dot.
Image credits: Unplash
What immediately stood out, however, was how differently her 37-year-old date presented himself.
According to the 35-year-old, her date was dressed “appropriately,” with a “white button down, navy dress pants & dress shoes.” “I was shocked,” Anderson wrote in a later comment.
She said the contrast made it clear something was off before they even reached the restaurant.
Anderson said her date’s restaurant choice confirmed she was being deliberately humiliated
Image credits: www.tiktok.com
Anderson said the moment she realized he was leading her into a fine dining restaurant, the situation clicked.
“Why does this man try to walk me into a fine dining restaurant?” she asked in the video. “I immediately know. I turned around and walked out.”
She framed the moment as a power play by her date, made to deliberately unsettle and humiliate her.
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“As soon as you meet me, you want to level the playing field by humbling and or embarrassing me by bringing me out to a place where you know that I am underdressed?” she said. “Absolutely not.”
Rather than staying or asking for clarification, Anderson said she left, picked up fast food for herself, and blocked him without sending a message or any explanation whatsoever.
She linked her reaction to her date to lessons she learned after a long marriage
Image credits: www.tiktok.com
In follow-up comments, Anderson explained why she did not second-guess her instincts during her date.
She shared that she was coming out of a long-term marriage and had spent a long time rebuilding her sense of self.
“I’ve worked hard on pouring into myself these last couple of years after coming out of a nightmare 2 decade long marriage,” she wrote in a later comment.
She contrasted her response with how she might have handled the situation in the past.
Image credits: www.tiktok.com
“Old me would have tried to figure out why. I would have messaged him,” she said in the video.
Instead, she said she took the moment at face value.
“You showed me who you were, you don’t have to show me twice,” Anderson said. “You will never, ever have the opportunity to try to humble me again.”
Viewers said the outfit mismatch felt intentional
Commenters overwhelmingly stated that the date was a power move rather than an accident, pointing specifically to the difference in attire.
“He was testing you to see if he could control you,” one commenter wrote.
Another added, “Humiliation is NOT a dating technique.”
Some said the situation could easily have been dismissed afterward as humor.
“And he would have said ‘it’s a joke! Can’t you take a joke?’ trying to turn it around on you,” one person commented.
Image credits: www.tiktok.com
Anderson replied to remarks about men’s behavior, writing, “They absolutely hate us, but won’t just leave us alone, I’ll never understand it!”
Ultimately, Anderson said her decision to leave her date after his failed humiliation stunt felt like personal growth.
In a comment, she reflected on how long it took her to stop explaining behavior that made her uncomfortable. “It took me a minute to get here, but I have arrived!” she wrote.
Others echoed that sentiment, praising her for recognizing the red flag early. “Ladies, this is leaving at the first red flag,” one commenter said.
Netizens shared their thoughts on Anderson’s experience on social media
