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There is nothing inherently wrong with having a friend from the opposite sex. While many may find this to be a contentious notion, it is possible to have a platonic heterosexual friendship.
The only time it gets troublesome is if one of you allows it to happen, much like what the man in today’s story did. He gave so much importance to everything his female BFF told him that he completely neglected his romantic partner’s feelings.
The girlfriend is now at a loss as to what to do next, as she has begun to rethink her relationship.
Heterosexual friendships can only be problematic if one person allows it to happen
Image credits: Drazen Zigic (not the actual photo)
This is what a man did when he allowed his female BFF to influence his decisions
Image credits: EyeEm (not the actual photo)
His girlfriend was understandably in a tough spot, as she began to rethink the relationship
Image credits: Throwawaydamedame
Men and women have different views about opposite-sex friendships
There’s a reason why many people refuse to believe that platonic relationships between heterosexual men and women are complicated, even impossible. A study published in the Evolutionary Psychological Science found that men mentally define a woman as someone they are “attracted to and would pursue given the opportunity.”
Meanwhile, women perceive the relationship in black and white terms, simply as “a friend of the opposite sex.”
Another study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships revealed that men consistently overestimated the level of attraction from their female friends, while women underestimated it. Researchers also found that men were more willing to act on their misguided notion.
This has led many to conclude that straight men and women can’t “just be friends” unless everyone adopts the thinking of the latter. But is this really the case?
Today’s youth disagrees. A 2023 survey by the Center for Scholars & Storytellers at UCLA revealed the existence of “nomance,” in which young people are more about having “feel-good character relationships.”
As UNC Greensboro sociology professor Rebecca Adams tells The Atlantic, more people are now aware of the importance of friendship, “that our fate is not just determined by our families of origin, but our ‘chosen’ families.”
Back to the story, it wouldn’t have been a problem if the man kept healthy boundaries in his friendship. However, he chose to let it ruin his relationship instead. The woman did the right thing by breaking up, because as she saw, her ex-partner’s behavior was not going to change.
The woman answered some reader questions, as people gave it to her straight
Image credits: Prostock-studio (not the actual photo)
The woman provided an update to the story, revealing they had broken up
Image credits: nd3000 (not the actual photo)
She revealed the reason for their separation, and what she had learned from the experience
Image credits: Throwawaydamedame
People shared their reactions to the new developments
