Extended unemployment can test the limits of even the strongest relationships. You’ve gone from sharing financial responsibilities to one person carrying the burden all on their own.
The very least the unemployed person can do is pick up on household chores in between frantically searching for a new job. But that’s not the case for one couple…
A woman has voiced her frustration over her the way her partner has been acting since losing his job a few months ago. Not only does he sit around playing video games all day but he also refuses to lift a finger, and help cook or clean. The worst part? He’s been offered 3 jobs and he’s turned all of them down!
She works a 13-hour shift then has to come home, cook and clean while her unemployed partner plays video games
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He’s turned down 3 job offers and she’s honestly had enough
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“What is he bringing to your life?”: people struggled to understand why she’s letting him stay
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After much thought, the woman revealed she’d made a big decision
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People urged the woman to stick to her word and wished her luck
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She gave an update soon after the man walked out the door
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In an unexpected twist, the woman revealed it wasn’t quite the end
How to cope when a partner loses their job
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When it comes to life’s most stressful events, losing a loved one, moving house, divorce and unemployment are right up at the top of the list. The way couples navigate these things can make or break them.
It’s natural to want to be supportive if your partner loses their job, but what happens when day and weeks drag on into months, or even years?
Unemployment can place massive strain on a relationship for obvious reasons. You’ve gone from sharing financial responsibilities to one person carrying the burden all on their own. The unemployed person might also become demotivated and depressed. And it often falls on the working partner to play the role of counselor and cheerleader on top of everything else.
“A woman in this situation walks a fine line between compassionate helpmate and tough-talking coach,” warns focusonthefamily.com “If you happen to have a ‘caretaker’ personality, you may have to watch a tendency to give your spouse unspoken permission to stay stuck in self-pity and inaction. Push too hard and you risk coming off as cold and uncaring.”
The site advises that you and your partner sit down together as soon as possible after a job loss. You should talk about the upcoming job hunt, and the ways you can minimize any conflicts that come with unemployment stress. Prepare yourselves for some very tough days ahead.
Relationship and personal growth coaching site Kairos says all may not be as it appears. “On the surface, this person may seem unmotivated—but beneath that, frustration, shame, and anxiety often simmer,” reveals the site, adding that studies show that unemployment fuels low self-esteem, depression, and a crisis in identity. Especially when one’s sense of worth has been tied to work achievements.
Your unemployed partner could often be thinking “I’m not enough.” This can lead to them becoming emotionally withdrawn, less communicative, and stuck in a cycle of survival anxiety.
As for the employed partner, they feel patient, supportive—until they don’t.
“From their perspective, it’s been months—or years—of carrying the financial load alone. At that point, frustration hardens into resentment,” cautions the site. “Stress spills over into daily interactions: criticism, coldness, or even anger become default responses.”
It’s important to work together, or seek professional advice, before that resentment boils over.
“Left unaddressed, resentment becomes corrosive. The working partner starts seeing the unemployed partner as lazy or unwilling—not discouraged or stuck,” Kairos’ experts warn. “Meanwhile, the other side internalizes blame and shame. Communication becomes sharp or avoidant.”
Criticism can lead to defensiveness, which leads to contempt—and eventually to emotional separation if unmitigated.
“This downward spiral is especially common when couples lack shared coping strategies, mutual empathy, or an external support frame like couples therapy or couples coaching,” say the experts.
Many people urged her to change her locks as soon as possible
