A new phenomenon is coming to a bar near you. While America’s divorce rates are declining, “divorce parties” are surging. Google Trends shows the topic has dramatically increased over the last five years, while CNBC reported in 2024 that unprecedented numbers of Americans are having them. The year before, The Today Show did a feature story on divorce parties, noting they are especially popular among the fairer sex.
The sentiment behind the divorce party is, in one sense, understandable. After you’ve been through a terrible experience with someone you thought you would love forever, it might be cathartic to mark the end of the relationship by not only celebrating but mocking your ex, as did one woman in a recent story at The Washington Post. But the rise of these events also implicitly marks a further erosion of the institution of marriage that we should grieve, just as we should grieve every divorce, even when they may be unavoidable. Every divorce, no matter the sordid details, can’t help but represent a certain rupture of our social fabric.
Taking It to the Man
The Washington Post’s feature highlights Nilufar Sizdahkhani, who recently celebrated her divorce from a Serbian man at a bar in downtown Washington, D.C. Sizdahkhani, the Post tells us, poses for iPhone photos, “middle finger up,” under a gold banner reading, “End of an Error.” Her friends throw darts at pictures of her ex and scream, “F-ck that guy!” as they take shots of alcohol. Sizdahkhani even punches a piñata that features an image of her ex-husband’s face.
Granted, Sizdahkhani’s ex sounds like a jerk. He overstayed his visa and was refused entry into the United States for a decade, so Sizdahkhani used her paid vacation time to visit him in Serbia. She even took her sisters to meet him. Not long after their marriage at a courthouse, he decided to stay in Serbia rather than return to America. Can anyone blame this woman for walking away from this disaster?
Nevertheless, as even the Post has to admit, party games spewing hate at another person seem a bit petty. Sizdahkhani says that divorce “doesn’t mean I failed in life. It’s just a part of life … This is everything but a failure.” But how is divorce not in any sense a failure? She chose a loser.
“Tomorrow,” the Post writes, Sizdahkani “can be anyone — on her own terms.” Wasn’t she already? This description makes divorce seem almost like some sort of religious conversion. She’s still the same person, and unless she does the hard work of reflecting on why she chose so badly, she’s liable to make the same mistake again.
Another Ugly Side to Female Empowerment
Obviously, “divorce parties” are a peculiarly female phenomenon. Female celebrities and influencers appear to be driving much of their popularity; the popular show The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, for example, featured a divorce party in its first season. Actress and model Shanna Moakler’s notorious divorce party in Las Vegas included a cake-topper of a dead groom.
The Washington Post reports that social media searches for “divorce party games” and “divorce cakes” are up, and businesses have gotten the message, offering things like “Fresh Start” registries and “sassy party decor.” Celebration.com has “14 Hilarious Divorce Party Themes to Celebrate Your New Beginning.” Pinterest has “180 best divorce party ideas.” Paperless Post has “The 12 best (and funniest!) divorce party ideas.”
This is sad. The vast majority of divorces in America are initiated by women, and in many cases, the reason is not abuse nor adultery but “growing apart” or supposed irreconcilable differences, euphemisms for falling out of love. This is not something our society should be cheering. Every divorce means something has gone wrong, and when we are talking about a large percentage of marriages ending in divorce, it means something has gone really wrong in our nation, for both men and women. That women are being exhorted by celebrity culture and social media not only to get divorces but to treat them like bachelorette parties is yet another ugly window into what “female empowerment” really looks like.
Divorces inevitably mean ruptured lives for kids (if there are any — and also fewer kids more broadly). It means increased rates of depression and substance abuse as people try to cope with broken relationships. It means heightened demands for mental therapy. Divorce has now wrecked our country for over half a century, costing us billions of dollars and ruining many lives. Why in the world would we make light of it?
We should be discouraging divorce and encouraging couples to fight for their marriages, while acknowledging that sometimes unfaithfulness, spousal abandonment, or abuse may ultimately demand it. But divorce is never something worthy of light-hearted festivities. It is something, even when necessary, to mourn, to learn from, to pray over, and to forgive (which frankly is far better for our souls than beating a piñata).
To celebrate divorce, regardless of the circumstances that caused it, is to celebrate the failure of an institution our nation desperately needs.
Casey Chalk is a senior contributor at The Federalist and an editor and columnist at The New Oxford Review. He is a regular contributor at many publications and the author of three books, including the upcoming “Wisdom From the Cross: How Jesus’ Seven Last Words Teach Us How to Live (and Die)” (Sophia Institute Press, 2026).
