Bonds of friendship, family, and a shared mission to change the world, is the subject of this week’s Feel-Good Friday.
October is Down Syndrome Awareness Month, to champion, advocate, and continue to raise awareness for those born with that extra Trisomy-21 chromosome. This genetic condition is seen less and less in the wider world because with early prenatal screening that recognizes this condition, women in other countries choose to abort their children. However, the United States sees around 5,000 babies each year born with Down syndrome.
President Donald Trump issued a presidential proclamation to honor Down Syndrome Awareness Month, and to honor the lives of those living with it and their families. It reads, in part:
We celebrate the extraordinary individuals living with Down syndrome who bring joy, wonder, and meaning to the world — and we extend our heartfelt gratitude to the families and caregivers who navigate the challenges and blessings of raising children with developmental disabilities with unconditional love.
The United States is the outlier in this because not all pregnant women choose the screenings that would recognize a Trisomy-21 defect. And many pro-life pregnant women, like former Alaska Governor and Republican VP candidate, Sarah Palin, choose the life of their child, no matter what the outcome or circumstance.
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Advancements in prenatal screening have enabled early detection of genetic conditions like Down syndrome. But in some parts of the world, this progress has quietly led to the near-eradication of individuals with the condition — long before birth.
In Iceland, around 85% of expectant mothers undergo first-trimester genetic screening. Nearly 100% of those who receive a prenatal diagnosis of Down syndrome choose to terminate the pregnancy. Only two or three babies with the condition are born there each year.
Denmark reports a termination rate of over 95%. In France, it’s around 77%. These numbers have sparked concern among ethicists and disability advocates, who warn of a troubling cultural shift: one that frames the existence of disability as undesirable — and preventable.
What a tragedy. I have known several persons who were born with Down syndrome, the majority now adults. They are some of the most creative, funny, and loving individuals I have ever met. Their loyalty and friendship is fierce, and my life is bettered in knowing them. Advocacy groups like the National Down Syndrome Society (NDSS) work to change how the world views the life of individuals with Down syndrome–and to show that they are more than capable and able to lead independent lives, go to school, hold down jobs, and even run their own businesses. All life has meaning, and children with Down syndrome and their families contribute meaningfully to our communities and our world.
Which brings us to the beautiful story of Lucy Carr Evans and Jay Thrasher Carr, who became friends in high school and formed a bond that would change both their worlds.
Jay and Lucy became friends in high school after Jay expressed his love for her during gym class.
“The first time I met her, I was walking downstairs with my headphones, my CD player, and my golden shoes. I went downstairs, and there she was on the floor. I sat next to her and said, “I love you,” said Jay.
If you haven’t figured it out, Jay was born with Down syndrome. The fierce and unapologetic love, along with a fearlessness and lack of anxiety that is, sadly, not found among genetically average Gen Z and Gen Alpha youth. Evans embraced that love, and she and Jay forged an inseparable friendship.
“It started with, ‘Can Jay come over? Can Jay hang out for the weekend?’ and then, ‘Can Jay come for the day?’” Lucy said.
Their casual school hangouts evolved into Jay regularly visiting after school and joining them for dinner.
Over time, he began spending weekends with them and eventually stayed for extended periods.
During their senior year, Evans learned that Jay’s mother was moving out of state. Lucy Evans immediately wanted Jay to stay and be a part of her family.
“Lucy was a high school senior when she came to talk to me about Jay one day,” said Dawn. “She said his mom was moving away, and that he could go live with his dad, but Jay wanted to live with us instead because he said we would love him more than anyone. Lucy said she was taking him to live with her in Tuscaloosa where she was heading to college. I said, ‘No, you’re not!’”
Dawn and her husband, who, coincidentally, is also named Jay, welcomed the younger Jay into their family, which includes four grown children, including Lucy, and a grandchild. Dawn said Jay is adored in their home and is known everywhere he goes for his joyful, lovable demeanor.
That was back in 2013. In 2020, Jay was formally adopted by the Lucy’s mother and father. While in high school, Lucy was inspired to start an organization called, “Happy Feat.”
Happy Feat is a nonprofit organization that offers a day program for adults and children with special needs, providing them with post-school opportunities to learn life and community skills.
It aims to address the challenge of limited transportation and job opportunities for individuals who have aged out of traditional education, offering community engagement, occasional work options, and social activities to build friendships.
Twelve years later, Lucy Evans still runs the organization, alongside Nicole Short, another childhood BFF. A filmmaker named David Hughens, who is also a family friend, was so taken by Lucy and Jay’s story that he decided to write a film about their bond. Hughens wrote Made with Love in just two weeks, and he started crowdfunding in 2022 to have the film made. Hughens has submitted the script to festivals around the world and it has won 40 awards, including the “Best Script” award in France, Singapore, India, and Italy.
Jay’s life, a life that some would say should not have been allowed to be, has transformed the lives of people beyond what he will even know. Hughens has partnered with RODS Heroes, an organization that encourages adoptive parents to consider taking in children with Down syndrome, and has produced featurettes with some of these families; they spotlight the joy of individuals with Down syndrome and why they should be championed and celebrated, not extinguished.
Here is a clip from a featurette about Lucy and Jay, and their incredible, transformative friendship.
WATCH:
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