Essex Files: Joe Biden Says the World Is Calling

President Joe Biden wants you to know something very important: European leaders are calling him. They’re apparently begging for his advice, urging him to “get engaged.” Not in marriage, mind you—this is Biden, not a Hallmark movie—but politically. Globally. Existentially.





The only problem? He won’t name a single one of these supposed leaders. Not one single leader.

Not Macron. Not Merz. Not Putin. Not even the guy running Belgium, whoever that is this week.

Instead, he gives us the classic Biden fog: vague insinuations, heavy nostalgia, and just enough delusion to make you wonder if these so-called “leaders” are calling from this plane of existence… or the next.


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Because let’s be honest—based on his policies, posture, and ghostly grip on the present—if Biden is getting calls from Europe, they’re probably from Helmut Kohl, Benito Mussolini, Neville Chamberlain, Karl Marx, or Generalissimo Francisco Franco, who is still dead. Now that’s a cabinet call.

Let’s break this down for what it really is: a 500-page plea for relevance from a former president who’s watching his shaky legacy unravel faster than Hunter Biden’s laptop denials. Biden’s popping up in rare appearances to remind us that he was once in charge of things like NATO expansion, climate pacts, and whatever that thing was with the student loan bailout that got vaporized by the Supreme Court. This is a guy who can’t even get his own recollection of his childhood right.





And now? He’s writing a memoir and driving his ‘67 Corvette around Delaware while foreign dignitaries allegedly call him up like he’s some geopolitical Dear Abby.

“I’m not back in politics,” he says, “but I’m giving advice.” Advice on what? Global inflation? Border collapses? Ice cream flavors?

Let’s not pretend the world is clutching pearls over losing Biden’s wisdom. The reality is, under Trump, NATO countries started coughing up real defense money instead of freeloading. American energy independence is no longer a punchline. And we didn’t have this breathless dependence on the same Euro-elites who treat Davos like the Vatican.

What we’re seeing here is classic Biden theater: the fog machine humming, the teleprompter glowing, and a globalist ego that just can’t quit the stage.

This isn’t leadership. It’s fan fiction with a foreign policy twist.

The American people don’t need shadow diplomacy from a retired president who can’t remember the name of his own Secretary of Defense. We need clarity, strength, and most of all accountability. If these conversations are happening, name the leaders. Show the substance. Otherwise, we’re left wondering whether Biden’s global outreach involves a séance and an Ouija board.





Because if Biden’s best friends in Europe are whispering from the grave, that might explain a lot about the ghost town that was his foreign policy.

If Europe really wants Biden’s advice, maybe they should take him. Let him cruise cobblestone streets in his Corvette, talking to the ghosts of globalists past. Meanwhile, America can focus on the living—on fixing the economy, securing our borders, and electing leaders who don’t take their foreign policy tips from a political graveyard.


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