Sean Penn Goes Full Spicoli

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My wife and would frequent a restaurant in Malibu called Ollo. We’d go there for the food (and the same waiter) not the frequent Hollywood celebrities you’d see. One celebrity guest was Sean Penn. He’s one weird dude. He seemed to be acting all the time. Penn seemed to “act” just getting up to leave or speak to someone else. Penn would put his head down and do the pouty pensive look. In short, (yes he’s short too) I think he is always “acting.” Or maybe he had his pout on because no one asks for his autograph.

While he was playing Spicoli in Fast Times at Ridgemont High, he reportedly “researched” his part of a stupid always stoned surfer, by becoming a stupid always stoned surfer.

When he isn’t being pouty in Malibu restaurants lifting weights or acting, he fancies himself a novelist. He wrote a book a few years ago that was remarkably bad. My theory is, he wrote in Spicoli’s character. Like, totally man. Here are some samples from his first attempt at writing called “Bob Honey Who Just Do Stuff.”

Let’s put it this way, it’s not Pride and Prejudice. Here is an actual honest-to-God quote from his 116-page novel

“There is pride to be had where the prejudicial is practiced with precision in the trenchant triage of tactile terminations.”

No – seriously that’s a pull from his book. Here’s one more Spicoli-worthy quote:

“Bob’s boyhood essence set him up for a separation from time, synergy, and social mores, leading him to acts of indelicacy, wounding words, and woeful whimsy that he himself would come to dread.”

Penn won two Oscars and loaned one to a guy with a bigger ego than Penn, Volodymyr Zelensky. Penn told the Ukrainian leader to bring it back to Malibu when Ukraine “wins.” The fact that Penn likes to chum with dictators seems natural. Penn famously made best buddies with Hugo Chávez. Hugo is gone but Penn quotes live forever. Penn said of Hugo:

“We are hypnotized by the media. Who do you know here who’s gone through 14 of the most transparent elections on the globe, and has been elected democratically, as Hugo Chávez?”

“Every day, this elected leader is called a dictator here, and we just accept it, and accept it. And this is mainstream media. There should be a bar by which one goes to prison for these kinds of lies.”

Penn seems to have a habit of sticking his foot in his mouth and calling for the arrest of people with opinions. His new focus for arrest are the “unwashed masses” of the unvaccinated. He said:

It’s a cowardice of conviction. I think that it is an unwillingness to engage in a culture of common sense. That at this point, it seems criminal to me, actually.”

“I really feel that if someone chooses not to be vaccinated, that they should choose to stay home. Not go to work. Not have a job. As long as we’re all paying for these streets, we gotta ride safely on them. And so I’m just hopeful that the mindset will change.”

“A resistance that’s just based on a certain kind of … lack of imagination and understanding of anything that’s helpful to the human race, I’ve become very frustrated by that. But I can only work within my own bounds and say that, for me, it should be mandatory,”

Penn can’t claim that he’s been living under a rock or in Fauci’s basement. I’ve seen him at Ollo’s and that’s the look he has at Ollo’s.

There is no evidence to support his call for an authoritarian police state rounding up the unvaccinated. In fact, there never was. Now there is a mountain of empirical evidence that getting the vaccine doesn’t save people from dying. 58 percent of the people who die are vaccinated. I’m no math major but I think 58 percent is a majority.

Let’s ask Sean. On second thought, let’s not.

Spicoli wants you guys to like, go to jail man. Like, totally.

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