Walking in at half-time with a 5-0 lead, we expected Newcastle’s players might indulge in handshakes, high fives, maybe the odd covering of the mouth while ribbing Qarabag for the ease with which they were cruising into the Champions League’s last 16 at their expense.
Instead, we saw Anthony Gordon and his captain Kieran Trippier continuing their spirited debate surrounding the penalty scored only seconds before to secure Newcastle’s fifth.
Gordon had already scored a hat-trick before winning that spot-kick himself, and it appeared Trippier was interested in someone else being allowed to take it. Maybe Nick Woltemade, who was being used in more of a midfield role. Perhaps Joe Willock or Harvey Barnes or Anthony Elanga.
Gordon was having none of it. Sure, he already had three, but four sounds nicer, as does reaching double figures in the Champions League this season to move second only to Kylian Mbappe.
The 24-year-old Englishman took the penalty himself, scored his fourth goal, Newcastle’s fifth, and, really, you should want a smidge selfishness in your striker. Gordon was leading the line for Eddie Howe’s side in the Azerbaijan capital of Baku. Goalscorers need to be greedy on occasion. He showed the mentality that those front men are supposed to carry in matches.
At a time when there is a debate surrounding who Thomas Tuchel should use as Harry Kane’s deputy striker at this summer’s World Cup – from Ollie Watkins to Dominic Calvert-Lewin to Danny Welbeck to Dominic Solanke – Gordon is hardly making a bad case for himself as a false nine.
Anthony Gordon scored four in the 6-1 demolition of Qarabag by Newcastle on Wednesday
Thomas Tuchel may consider Gordon as a back-up option to Harry Kane up front
Watching from afar, Tuchel will have been impressed by his opening goal in particular.
That came after 123 seconds when Dan Burn received the ball in his own half but drove forward with it.
He poked a delicate pass in behind with the outside of his boot for Gordon, who scored with an accurate first-time finish into the opposite corner for 1-0.
It involved masterful movement from Gordon in the build-up as he looked over his shoulder to see if his defender was following him.
He purposefully pulled Kevin Medina out of position by dropping towards Burn before spinning and sprinting into the box without his aforementioned marker.
It was an elite opener from Newcastle with Howe rewarded for packing his front line with so much speed. Qarabag – the disruptors of this season’s Champions League who held Chelsea to a 2-2 draw in Baku and beat Benfica, Copenhagen and Eintracht Frankfurt – could never follow their opponents’ give-and-gos with Gordon forever on the move especially.
It should be noted that Gordon and Trippier hugged when the former was substituted after 67 minutes, at least, suggesting they had settled their differences over the half-time oranges.
Gordon had a row with Kieran Trippier and it appeared to be about him taking the penalty
Baku Buffon stopped it being 10
It is not often a 6-1 scoreline in the Champions League is flattering to the losing side, but then Newcastle would have won by so many more goals had Qarabag’s goalkeeper Mateusz Kochalski not regularly resembled a prime Gianluigi Buffon behind a bunch of Keystone Cops defenders.
Were it not for Kochalski, it could have been 10. It should have been 10, arguably. Gordon and Barnes failed to beat the stopper after breaking through Qarabag’s back line, while Kochalski produced a remarkable double save to deny Burn then William Osula towards the end.
He conceded six goals and yet, bizarrely, Kochalski was Qarabag’s best player here because he was nowhere near as generous as those team-mates surrounding him.
Mateusz Kochalski was Qarabag’s best player and the scoreline could have been worse
Handball rule is ruthless in Europe
While we love to complain on the use of VAR in the Premier League, Newcastle’s third goal came from a contentious penalty, and one we might not have seen awarded in England.
Barnes’ shot was blocked by the arm of Matheus Silva but there were mitigating circumstances. The defender had dived to get his body in the way of the attempt. He was using his arm to break his fall. His back was even to Barnes.
Referee Espen Eskas was sent to his pitch-side monitor, from where he penalised Silva for placing his arm in an unnatural position apparently. Gordon made use of the Champions League’s ruthless interpretation of handball by scoring for 3-0.
Newcastle’s keeper quartet
While Newcastle had more than enough talent to terrorise Qarabag, their substitutes’ bench was unusual in featuring three goalkeepers. Well, you never know. Had Nick Pope picked up an injury, Aaron Ramsdale might have been required. If Ramsdale then got injured, there was John Ruddy. If Ruddy then got injured, there was always Aidan Harris.
Pope will be disappointed with conceding. Elvin Cafarguliyev simply smashed the ball across goal and it flew between his body and arm.
While none of Howe’s spare goalkeepers were needed – travelling 2,529 miles from Tyneside to Baku is a long old journey knowing you will likely go unused – 18-year-old academy boy Sean Neave was introduced.
Nick Pope started in goal for the Magpies and there were four goalkeepers who travelled
That was a nice touch by Howe at the end of the easiest of evenings for Newcastle with them knowing their stay in Europe will be extended.
Eddie Howe had to be respectful towards Qarabag when speaking afterwards, but he will not be fooling too many with his quotes on this tie still being alive.
‘We know the tie is not dead or over,’ Howe insisted. ‘We’ve got to be professional in every moment. We know how football can change.’
