From a distance, Tamara Meyer’s life appears effortless.
The striking business coach and motivational speaker has found her match in partner Jordan, and together they’re mapping out a future filled with hope, including dreams of starting a family.
But for years, the 36‑year‑old admits she refused to confront one uncomfortable truth – a deeply private issue that shadowed their relationship behind closed doors.
‘When I finally got into this healthy, loving relationship, I realised intimacy was quite painful,’ the Gold Coast local tells the Daily Mail. ‘And it just got worse as I got older.
‘I felt like I wanted to be this active, sexual human being with my partner, but it also got to the point where certain positions were just uncomfortable.
‘It would be causing pain during sex, and that pain would even continue for a while afterwards.
‘It was that same immense pain when I got my period.’
It would be years before Tamara learned the cause – endometriosis – or discovered that genuine relief could come through laparoscopic surgery.
To understand why she ignored the warning signs, and endured her symptoms in silence, you need to go back several years.
Everything looks idyllic in Tamara Meyer’s life when you take a glimpse at her Instagram
The striking business coach and motivational speaker has found the love of her life in partner Jordan and they hope to start a family together
As a young woman, Tamara channelled her passion for movement into careers in professional dance and bodybuilding.
But she concedes that life in the fitness world also fuelled unhealthy habits, including disordered eating and excessive training. Over time, she became accustomed to her body always feeling slightly uncomfortable.
‘In the dance world or as a professional athlete, I think it masked the pain I had quite a lot,’ she says.
‘It was only as I got older that the pain just got progressively worse.’
About a decade ago, when she was about 25, Tamara began noticing ‘really severe pains’ during the intensive training she did for competitions – sharp aches in her lower abdomen, radiating through her stomach and lower back, especially when she went to the bathroom for a bowel movement.
‘It would be really painful, to the point I’d have to lie on the ground,’ she reveals.
‘But rather than stop my workout, I would just take a strong anti-inflammatory and the pain would go away. Then I’d be able to continue training.’
It was a perfect storm: Tamara had also come off contraceptive medication for the first time – something she now believes had been masking the true severity of her period pain.
For years, Tamara, 36, hid a personal secret – she struggled with debilitating pelvic pain, which was particularly pronounced during periods, when using the bathroom, and during sex
‘The period pain suddenly became so much worse – and it had always been really bad,’ she says.
Still, she pushed through, relying on pain medication, hot baths and rest to get through each wave of discomfort.
‘I had heard of endometriosis and at points wondered to myself if maybe that’s what it was. But there was also an element of fear and avoidance – I didn’t want to find out if I had it or what that actually meant.’
It wasn’t until years later, once she was in a committed relationship with Jordan, that she realised the discomfort she’d tolerated for so long was also affecting their intimacy.
Tamara says Jordan was always respectful of her limitations in their sex life. But when they began talking seriously about starting a family, those limitations became a real obstacle.
‘Until then, I had never really asked Jordan how he felt about not really having that level of intimacy in our relationship.’
Instead of making it about himself, Tamara says Jordan gently asked her, ‘Wouldn’t you want to find out about this pain and maybe do something about it, so it won’t be there anymore?’
Around this time, Tamara connected with a Gold Coast‑based obstetrician, gynaecologist and fertility specialist who was finally able to give her answers.
After years of dismissing her pain, Tamara finally consulted a specialist, who confirmed she had endometriosis
A turning point came when Tamara and Jordan began discussing their hopes of starting a family – and her long‑ignored pain could no longer be brushed aside
Medical examinations confirmed Tamara had a severe form of endometriosis.
She also learned there was a surgical option available to her that she had never heard of: laparoscopy.
Sydney-based fertility specialist and gynaecologist Dr Raewyn Teirney explains: ‘Endometriosis is a condition where tissue similar to the lining of the uterus grows outside the uterus.
‘It’s most commonly found on the ovaries, fallopian tubes and the lining of the pelvis, but it can also involve nearby organs such as the bowel or bladder.’
The classic symptom, which Tamara had battled for years, is pelvic pain, particularly around menstruation, when periods can become extremely heavy and debilitating.
Dr Teirney adds that in severe cases, it’s also common to experience ‘pain during or after sex’, as well as pain when opening the bowels or even passing urine.
She notes that many women endure endometriosis pain for years – and, all too often, their symptoms are dismissed or minimised.
Promisingly, awareness has grown significantly in recent years – helped by public campaigns and the recognition of March as Global Endometriosis Awareness Month.
After meeting with a Gold Coast-based obstetrician, gynaecologist and fertility specialist, Tamara decided to undergo a laparoscopy
Tamara went ahead with the private elective surgery late last year
Her diagnosis came with a clear recommendation: she should consider a laparoscopy, especially if she and Jordan hoped to try for a baby naturally in the future.
Dr Teirney explains that ‘a laparoscopy is a type of minimally invasive or keyhole surgery performed under general anaesthetic.
‘Small incisions are made in the abdomen and a thin camera called a laparoscope is inserted. This allows the surgeon to view the uterus, ovaries, fallopian tubes and surrounding pelvic structures in detail.
A laparoscopy not only confirms the presence of endometriosis – lesions can be seen directly on camera – but also allows treatment to occur during the same procedure.
‘During the procedure, surgeons can remove or destroy endometriosis lesions and scar tissue,’ says Dr Teirney.
‘For many people, this may help reduce pain, improve quality of life and in some cases improve fertility outcomes.
‘Like any surgery, a laparoscopy should be carefully discussed with a specialist so that the potential benefits and risks can be considered for each individual situation.’
After weighing everything up – and with Jordan firmly by her side – Tamara chose to go ahead with the private elective surgery late last year, despite the significant out‑of‑pocket cost of between $12,000 and $15,000.
Intimacy has been a much more enjoyable experience for Tamara and Jordan since her surgery
For Tamara, the results made every moment of the process worthwhile.
‘I had been so used to pain being this constant in my life. Now, it is a nice feeling not to have to have pain,’ she says.
‘For me, this treatment resolved this and allowed me to just be me.’
She’s also pleased to report that the intimacy issues once caused by her pain are now a thing of the past.
‘Well, sex is enjoyable now, that’s for sure,’ she says with a smile.
‘There hasn’t been any pain during sex, although I do still get period pain. But it isn’t how it used to be, when I would be curled up on the ground.’
Although Tamara and Jordan have not yet conceived, she’s hopeful the surgery will ultimately improve their chances – and in the meantime, the journey has certainly become far more enjoyable.
‘Hopefully we’ll have an exciting update to share in the future.’
After her endometriosis ordeal, the founder of Tamara Meyer Coaching has a simple message for anyone experiencing similar pain.
‘Listen to your body and don’t avoid what it’s trying to tell you,’ she says.
‘I put up with it for far too long and the pain just got worse and worse. Do your research and find a great specialist – it is absolutely worth it.’
Dr Teirney echoes that sentiment.
‘Pelvic pain should not be dismissed as simply “bad periods”. Apart from very mild and infrequent discomfort during menstruation, pelvic pain is not considered normal and warrants proper medical assessment.
‘If symptoms are persistent or impacting daily life, patients should be appropriately investigated or referred to a specialist with experience in endometriosis so that the underlying cause can be identified and managed.’
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