Nicky Haslam, the 87-year-old interior designer and famously exacting arbiter of taste, has unveiled his 2026 tea towel listing the things he considers common, from Diet Coke and the Hay Festival to beards.
It prompted me to draw up a list of my own—one that will doubtless provoke plenty of disagreement.
To be clear, labelling something common does not necessarily mean I never indulge in it myself.
1. Common
I suspect Nicky would agree that the word itself deserves the top spot on any list of common things.
2. The Celebrity Traitors
Almost every element of this reality show qualifies, from the celebrities’ flamboyant, garish outfits to its carefully manufactured drama.
The notable exception is host Claudia Winkleman. She has transformed her unmistakably common signature look—orange skin, pale flesh-coloured lipstick and hair sleek enough to resemble cellophane—into such an art form that it somehow ceases to be common when worn by her.
Celebrity Traitors host Claudia Winkleman with Romesh Ranganathan and Sebastian Croft after their victory in the show’s 2026 series
3. Colour co-ordinated bookshelves
Nothing signals that a bookshelf’s owner has not read the books quite so reliably. Books can furnish a room, certainly, but they should not be reduced to inexpensive decorative props.
4. Curated coffee table books
Much the same applies here. Oversized, costly picture books should not be arranged conspicuously to advertise their owner’s cultural credentials. They are perfectly acceptable when casually abandoned in no particular order. And, on that subject…
5. ‘Curated’
The word should be reserved for art—and little else.
6. Side partings on men
7. WhatsApp Groups
An endless stream of information invading your phone, usually at precisely the wrong moment.
8. Hosting
I realise this makes me sound rather old-fashioned, but describing a few friends coming over for supper as “hosting” is absurd. It suggests an elaborate occasion when the whole point should be informality.
9. Tablescaping
The close companion of hosting. There is no reason to pile one plate on top of another merely to display how much crockery you possess. Table decorations are best confined to Easter and Christmas—and even then, only when absolutely necessary.
10. Babyccinos
Unbearably twee.
11. President Trump
Do I really need to explain? The White House ballroom, Mar-a-Lago, the artificial tan, the Qatari jet—the evidence is plentiful.
12. Scatter cushions
They serve no useful purpose, commandeer an entire sofa and make sitting down unnecessarily uncomfortable.
13. Paved front gardens
14. Hiking
A long walk through the countryside is not automatically a hike.
15. SUVs in the city
Why anyone needs to drive a tank-sized vehicle around town is difficult to understand. Once regarded as status symbols, they now seem merely inconsiderate.
16. Ick
Life was considerably more agreeable before people began saying something “gives me the ick” whenever they disliked it, in an effort to sound fashionable.
17. Eating in the cinema
This is a recent and thoroughly unwelcome development. I go to the cinema to watch a film, not listen to someone order a margarita and burger before loudly eating them throughout it. If I want dinner with my movie, I can stay at home.
18. Forever homes
The phrase makes a house sound like a funeral parlour.
19. ‘Iconic’
Perhaps the most abused adjective of modern times. The Virgin Mary is an icon; a handbag is not. Nor are an actress or the countless other things routinely given the label. An icon represents something beyond itself—it should not be a line in a press release.
20. Coloured notepaper
Letter paper should be white. The Royal Family has the right idea.
21. Cupcakes
Surely I cannot be the only person who feels there have been enough cupcakes to last several lifetimes.
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22. Coffee pods
Has a pod ever produced coffee better than a stovetop pot or cafetiere? Convenience should not be allowed to defeat flavour.
23. Hair extensions
They are the very definition of tacky and, unless fitted by a true expert, tend to look painfully obvious.
24. Complaining about the weather
It must be the dullest possible subject of conversation, yet people return to it constantly. Conversation requires an exchange of ideas. If it is cold, then it is cold. There is no need to build a discussion around it.
25. Boiling water taps
26. Matching family pyjamas
27. Three-piece velvet sofa suites
They are often supposed to suggest aristocratic style, like the blue examples supplied by the prop department at Badminton House for the television series The Gentlemen. In reality, they would never appear in a contemporary private country estate. Three-piece suites are gloomy wherever they are found and, even on television, resemble something from a Harley Street waiting room.
28. Padded gilets
29. Annabel’s
Once London’s most glamorous nightclub; now a place where money appears to have overwhelmed taste.
30. Truffle crisps
Ready salted crisps are excellent. Pretending truffle makes them luxurious is not.
31. Folding the edge of loo paper
The less fuss made over loo paper, the better. Folding the corner—or any other attempt at a playful presentation—is particularly unwelcome.
32. Scented nappy bags
Somehow more offensive than the odour they are intended to conceal.
33. Box balls in window boxes
Box topiary belongs on a grand scale. Tiny balls in window boxes look as though they were made for a Lego house.
34. Induction hobs
An unnecessarily infuriating way to control what is supposed to be a premium kitchen appliance.
35. Biscoff
Those small shards could hardly be described as proper biscuits.
36. The Maldives
Overpriced, overcrowded and photographed beyond endurance.
37. Reform
38. Tea stands used in hotel teas
Food does not need to be stacked vertically at tea. What is wrong with presenting it on an attractive plate?
39. Calla lilies
They look remarkably like plastic.
40. Food intolerances
Only people with genuine, serious allergies should impose their dietary requirements on everyone else. Anything less is simply bad manners.
41. Designer dog coats
Dogs should not have to parade around dressed for a fashion show.
42. Backpacks
Entirely practical for travel, but distinctly lacking in elegance on the daily commute.
43. The Cotswolds
Some of my best friends live there, and so on—but it has now become the most common destination in the country.
44. Soho House
Once exclusive, this members’ club has become far too ubiquitous.
45. Quitting the UK for tax reasons
Anyone with genuine class would never choose to become a tax exile.
46. Strawberries in winter
