Moviegoers often wonder what is really happening behind the cameras when actors are filming a sex scene. Just how awkward is it?
Understandably, for many actors one of their greatest fears is becoming aroused on set in front of their fellow cast and crew.
Now Hollywood intimacy coordinators Yehuda Duenyas and Jaclyn Chantel are lifting the lid on exactly how they help the actors deliver the perfect bedroom scene in a safe and respectful way.
Not every star values them – a group of A-listers has been vocal about not needing the sex-scene gurus.
The leading experts are especially keen to remove any shame attached to ‘normal human responses’ that can occur during filming – and revealed there is even a secret signal actors can use when it happens.
Duenyas said that before getting to set, he creates a language with actors so they can subtly indicate if they need to take a time out during an intimacy scene.
‘I like to have a signal with actors,’ he said. ‘If you just look at me and tug on your ear lobe, I’ll know we’re going to take a five.’
Duenyas said he will then call ‘cut’ in such a way that doesn’t require any questions.
Malin Akerman and Brittany Snow in Netflix’s The Hunting Wives, which has multiple intimate scenes throughout
Jimanekia Eborn (left), Yehuda Duenyas (center) and Jaclyn Chantel (right) co-founded CINTIMA, a leading training academy for intimacy coordinators
‘It’s going to remain really private so that the actor can go to the bathroom quickly,’ he added. ‘They can take a minute to reset and then come back.’
Duenyas, who co-founded leading training academy for intimacy coordinators CINTIMA with Chantel also noted that this issue is not unique to male actors.
The two have worked on scores of top movies including Switch and I Want Your Sex starring Olivia Wilde.
And in Chantel’s experience, arousal is a very common concern.
‘Oftentimes in my conversations with actors, they bring it up before I do,’ she said.
‘We are human and this is likely to happen. [But in most] cases it’s unlikely to happen, because there are so many other things that an actor has to think about.
‘But in a situation where it does happen, I’m letting them know what the tools are in advance, so they can let me know if they need a minute.’
The intimacy coordinators explained that arousal when simulating sex is a completely normal human response.
A scene from the movie Bridgerton, which has become known, in part, for its sex-heavy plot. Arousal while filming an intimate scene is a completely normal biological reaction, the experts explained
Duenyas on set. He said he encourages actors to subtly signal to him if they need to take five when filming an intimate scene, such as tugging on their ear lobe
Duenyas pointed to arousal non-concordance, which is when the body automatically responds regardless of whether there is pleasure.
‘During an assault in real life, a body might become aroused to protect itself, and so the autonomic nervous system does things that we don’t necessarily have conscious control over, and that we would prefer didn’t happen,’ he said.
‘It’s the reason why we’re breathing and our heart is beating and our neurons are firing, and there’s a billion physical processes happening in our body at once.
‘When we describe it that way and say it’s not necessarily something that you can help, and there’s no shame in it.’
There are many tips, tricks and tools that are used to reduce some physical sensation between actors on set, including modesty garments and barriers.
These are important, Duenyas said, so actors can focus on their performance.
When it comes to modesty cups and prosthetics, the actors work closely with the prop team – there is even an assortment of fake penises actors can choose from.
‘The actor will be like, “I kind of think my character would be this one,” so that’ll be like a character decision for them,’ Duenyas said.
He explained that their job as coordinators is to help remove shame around intimacy and sexuality.
‘The reason why any of us are here is because of an act of intimacy,’ he said. ‘That’s a reason why we’re all on this planet, so it’s a pretty fundamental human thing.’
Typically, the experts are brought in early in the production process with the aim of helping a director execute their creative vision in a safe and respectful manner.
‘We’re not there to prevent any type of creative process from happening,’ Duenyas said.
‘The creatives have every right to their creative vision, and the actor has every right to their consent and their boundaries around how they want to help shape that story and how to depict it.’
Gwyneth Paltrow at the 32nd Annual Actor Awards in March. She is reported to have said she would feel ‘stifled’ if she worked with an intimacy coordinator
Jennifer Aniston at ELLE’s 2025 Women in Hollywood Celebration. She allegedly said she felt comfortable with her scene partner, John Hamm, and that she didn’t feel the need to work with an intimacy coordinator on The Morning Show
After talking with the director, intimacy coordinators hold private conversations with each cast member where the actors can raise any concerns.
‘We are there to help navigate those conversations,’ Duenyas said.
Some actors, including Gwyneth Paltrow, Jennifer Aniston and Jennifer Lawrence, have been vocal about their reluctance to work with intimacy coordinators.
Last year, while on the press tour for A24’s Marty Supreme, Paltrow reportedly said she believed the idea of an intimacy coordinator would make her feel ‘stifled.’
Meanwhile Aniston and Lawrence said they felt safe enough with their scene partners on the set of The Morning Show and Die My Love respectively that they didn’t feel the need to work with intimacy coordinators.
Chantel said: ‘Every actor, seasoned or green, is completely entitled to their own opinion and experiences.’
‘Not everyone needs to work with an intimacy coordinator if they fully have trust in their directors and the actors that they’re working with.
‘I think that when someone decides they don’t want to work with an intimacy coordinator, that’s kudos to the team that the production has built.’
As intimacy coordination continues to make strides within the industry, CINTIMA is working to promote the career as an art form.
In October, they will present the second annual Flicker festival, a first-of-its-kind curated international festival celebrating short flms on intimacy.
