Most people feel that physical connection and a spark in the bedroom is vital to their relationship. But for Bethany Beal, she didn’t need to touch her husband to know he was the one for her.
The 37-year-old from San Antonio, Texas, is fiercely dedicated to her Christian faith, and decided at a young age that she wanted to wait until marriage to get physical with a man.
She had never even shared a kiss, let alone had sex, when she and her now-husband David, 32, started dating in 2017. The couple avoided all intimacy until they walked down the aisle together a year later.
Beal ultimately had her first smooch at her wedding at age 30 in front of hundreds of her close friends and family members.
And while she admitted that she often faces cruel judgment from others, particularly women, who she said accuse them of having no chemistry, Beal insisted to the Daily Mail that her and David’s relationship is stronger than most.
Still, she does have one major regret.
‘I do think there’s something really special about sharing that first kiss alone just between the two people,’ Beal told the Daily Mail. ‘If I could go back in time, I’m not sure I would do it the same way.’
She explained that she is pretty outspoken online about her and David’s decision to wait until marriage, which has sparked immense backlash.
Bethany Beal and her husband, David, who waited until their wedding day to have their first kiss
Beal said she and David often face cruel judgement from others who accuse them of having no chemistry
But she insisted that despite the slower start to their sex lives, she and David are as happy as any other couple, if not happier.
‘The most common comment I get is, ‘I wouldn’t buy a car before test driving it, so I’m not marrying someone unless I sleep with them.’ Thankfully, I don’t view buying a car anything like marrying someone,’ Beal said.
‘I also have zero respect for most relationships I see in the world, and so I’m happy to do my own thing and try for better, more satisfying and longer lasting results.’
Beal said that it is usually ‘women who seem to be the most annoyed’ by her choice, adding, ‘the majority of men in my comments seem to think it’s pretty cool that I waited.’
She and David have now welcomed three children together, and she vowed that she is definitely attracted to him physically.
‘I’m genuinely obsessed with him and think he’s so sexy,’ she said. ‘It might seem pretty extreme to some… but it has worked out well for me.’
Beal is not alone in her experience.
Ashlyn Mitchell and her husband, Hugh, both 26, from Mobile, Alabama, also waited until their wedding day to have their first kiss. They told the Daily Mail that they face similar scrutiny online.
‘There’s been so many comments that said, ‘Well, what if she’s a bad kisser?’ But how do you know what a bad kiss is if you’ve never shared that with anybody?’ Hugh said. ‘We only have one kiss to go off of.’
Beal and David now have three children together
Beal and David both grew up in ‘conservative Christian’ households where ‘saving sex for marriage was just assumed’
But they, too, insisted that their relationship is stronger because of it.
‘We were able to look at each other and say, ‘Hey, this is what I like about this person,’ and we didn’t have the physical part clouding [our decision],’ Ashlyn explained.
Beal told the Daily Mail that she grew up in a ‘conservative Christian house’ where ‘saving sex for marriage was just assumed.’
It was her decision to also avoid kissing. But, she admitted, when she made that choice, she assumed she would get married young so the ‘wait wouldn’t be super long.’
‘Little did I know that I wouldn’t actually get married until I was 30 years old,’ she said. ‘So the wait to have sex [or even kiss] was much longer than expected.’
When she started dating as a teen and in her 20s, Beal said she was ‘very upfront’ with any guy she went out with. She didn’t feel it hindered her love life in any way.
‘I found that guys really respected my choice and seemed to admire how much I respected myself,’ she told the Daily Mail. ‘So, for me, it seemed to work in my favor.’
But the older she got, the harder it was to hold out. ‘I started wondering if I’d ever get married and get to experience intimacy with a man,’ she said.
‘The thought of being single forever and never kissing, having sex or experiencing that kind of intimacy was sad. I definitely struggled in that sense.’
Ashlyn, who started dating Hugh during her sophomore year of college, is also Christian. She admitted that waiting to get intimate was difficult for them as well.
‘Obviously, we wanted to kiss each other,’ she told the Daily Mail. ‘We were in love. It wasn’t easy, it was really difficult. But we knew that waiting was something that would be so special.’
Ashlyn Mitchell and her husband Hugh, both 26, from Mobile, Alabama, also waited until their wedding day to have their first kiss
Ashlyn and Hugh on their wedding day. She told the Daily Mail that ‘it was a great kiss’
‘Obviously I’m very attracted to my wife,’ Hugh agreed. ‘But I think our generation wants to be satisfied now, we want to have our needs met now, we want somebody that fulfils us now.
‘I think when people rush into relationships, there’s a lack of actually getting to know each other.’
When Beal met David, the two quickly bonded over their shared views. She explained that he ‘grew up very similar’ to her, and was also a virgin and had never kissed anyone else.
In the weeks leading up to the wedding, she recalled feeling ‘a little nervous’ knowing their first kiss would be in front of 300 guests. But she made sure to prepare herself by reading ‘all the books and listening to podcasts’ from other Christian women who had waited.
Ultimately, while she now wishes they had their first kiss in private, she said the moment was still very ‘special.’
As for Ashlyn, the Alabama native said ‘it’s a crazy thing to have your first kiss in front of hundreds of people. But it was a great kiss.’
‘The connection that you have with your spouse, the way that you learn to love them, the way that they get love from you, those are the kinds of things that I think our society cheapens,’ she added.
‘We can just go and sleep with whoever we want to, and we can go share our body with whoever we want to, but at some point it’s like, where’s the significance behind these special moments that were meant to be for a husband and wife?’
