Eavesdrop on any group of middle-aged women, and the question will often come up: why don’t we just live together? No grumpy men, no mess, no arguments, just a fantasy of like-minded women sharing a tidy, tasteful home.
Sadly, most of us are stuck with our spouses – but for Claira Hermet, 42, and Mindy Kaur, 32, the dream is real.
Two years ago, the London-based best friends moved in together – and it has worked so well they want to buy a property together.
Both are single, and after years of dating frustration say they are happily putting men on the back burner to make this commitment together.
‘I don’t date,’ Mindy says with a laugh. ‘I can’t be bothered – I just haven’t got the energy for dating apps. I don’t need it right now, I’m very happy in my life.’
Claira agrees: ‘It’s just not a priority. I’m not going to invest hours online talking to random men, and I don’t want to feel in a place of desperation or neediness. Besides, I’ve got Mindy for company now.’
Indeed, the two are so close – cooking, weekly shopping and holidaying together – that people have even mistaken them for a couple.
Claira Hermet and Mindy Kaur only met in 2022 and are now looking at buying a London property together
The two are so close – cooking, weekly shopping and holidaying together – that people have even mistaken them for a couple
‘We met in 2022, over an Aperol spritz,’ says Claira, curled up beside Mindy on their velvet sofa, complete with fluffy pink cushions. ‘Mindy’s a talent agent and I’m a content creator, so she was interested in representing me.’
The two felt an immediate rapport, but it was a joint holiday to Los Angeles that sealed their friendship.
Claira had been living alone in a rented cottage for two years, and her tenancy had just ended, while Mindy was increasingly dissatisfied with her London flatshare. ‘I’d been there for seven years,’ she recalls. ‘I needed a change, something more grown-up than a rotating bunch of flatmates and rows over loo roll.
‘We were both single and neither of us was waiting around for the perfect man – if he shows up one day then great, but for the foreseeable future, it made total sense to choose each other instead.’
‘I think as women, we are really good at creating community,’ Claira observes. ‘We’re taught that you meet someone, get married, have kids and buy a house, and that’s the path to happiness.
‘And I think that I would have followed that path too if things had worked out slightly differently, but would I have been happy? This path has allowed me to find my own sense of happiness, self-worth and peace.’
Mindy agrees: ‘I’m from a family where there has been a high divorce rate and I’ve learned that you really do have to be happy with yourself. Yes, this situation is good for us financially, but it’s also good for us emotionally. My family often say: “Don’t you want to share life with someone?” But I have that with Claira. I get to do my food shop with someone, we go away for weekends, and I’ve got someone to share the load with. Someone to make me a cup of tea when I get in from work.’
Mindy says: ‘We were both single and neither of us was waiting around for the perfect man – if he shows up one day then great, but for the foreseeable future, it made total sense to choose each other instead’
Their cat, Luna, wanders into the room.
‘She was mine but Mindy’s adopted her,’ says Claira. ‘They have a sibling relationship.’
The women are so close, it could almost be a celibate marriage, but they’re both quick to explain that they aren’t joined at the hip.
‘Claira has her friendship group and I have mine,’ says Mindy. ‘They’ve all met and everyone gets along, but often we’ll do things separately.’
And when it comes to the in-laws, Claira explains, ‘Mindy’s got a big family, I have a really small family – my mum died when I was young and my sister died in my 20s, so it’s just me and my brother. Mindy’s mum is lovely, she buys me Christmas presents and Easter eggs, and when she comes to stay, she and Mindy invite me out with them.’
As far as domestic harmony goes, ‘we both like a tidy house – we do a big clean together once a week, and we’re responsible for our own rooms,’ says Mindy. They shop together, too. ‘We do a big supermarket shop on a Sunday,’ Claira explains.
They even share the cooking. ‘Sometimes we cook together, or one will cook for the other – usually, whoever’s working from home that day,’ says Claira.
Their set-up sounds like most women’s idea of domestic bliss… so it’s no wonder complete strangers often assume they are more than just friends.
‘A while ago, we were walking down the street, bickering enjoyably about my red shoes, which Claira didn’t like,’ says Mindy. ‘A passing man stopped to make a joke about marital rows because he thought we were a couple.’
The two are so close, finishing each other’s sentences, and laughing over shared memories as they chat, that when they initially announced that they were moving in together, certain assumptions were even made by their friends.
‘Our good friends know we’re straight, but a few acquaintances assumed otherwise, asking if we’re now “together”,’ Claira recalls.
‘And my grandma was a bit confused, but she said she didn’t mind either way!’ Mindy puts in.
As for their plans to own a property together, Claira says: ‘We’ve had discussions about how we’d make it work financially.
‘We’d get a joint mortgage, and our deposits would be protected so we’d get back what we put in, we’d own the house for at least three years and if one of us decided to move out, then we’d have the right to rent out the room.’
In so many ways, as house prices spiral, their shared life seems to be the perfect solution for many child-free women who would prefer not to live alone.
‘Humans are communal beings,’ adds Claira. ‘We need companionship – but we’ve discovered that it doesn’t have to be romantic for it to be fulfilling and fun.’
