Plus One. Never taken one – and nor would I. So why do people insist on the dead weight of a hanger-on? Because that’s all a Plus One really is. A nonentity unknown to the host and there only as an appendage to the wanted guest because he/she is too big a baby to go it alone.
I learnt relatively early on in life how big a deal this is when I lost a long-standing friend because I did not invite his girlfriend as his Plus One to my 27th birthday celebrations. It was a sit-down dinner for 20, I had limited funds and even had to leave friends who were much closer to me off the list.
‘But we do everything together,’ he wailed. I stood my ground, as I do when couples on airlines ask me to change my seat so that they can sit together. If you can’t be separated from your partner for a few hours without having a breakdown, you’re really in the wrong relationship. I never heard from him again.
Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce can expect the same fallout from their forthcoming nuptials in New York on July 3 because, ye gods, they’ve sent out some invitations minus the Plus One.
Not since King Kong climbed the Empire State Building has such fear been unleashed upon the city as terrified guests threaten to cry off at the thought of having to enter a room by themselves.
One person has asked ‘Am I supposed to go alone?’ Yes. Even very rich people have to do a head count. She says she’s shy and won’t know anyone there because she’s not friends with Bella and Gigi Hadid. She feels victimised because she’s single and complains that others are being allowed to bring their husbands and wives.
Boo hoo. You’ve had the honour of securing an invite to the wedding of the year, if not the decade (or century, for Swifties), and instead of feeling excited not only for the couple but yourself, you’re throwing your toys out of the pram because you need someone to hold your hand through the trauma of downing non-stop vintage Krug until the early hours. If that were me, I’d make a beeline for Bella and Gigi and ask them if any of their uncles were single – but not before checking if Dad was back on the market, too.
Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift have, ye gods, sent out some invitations to their wedding on July 3 minus the Plus One, writes Jaci Stephen
One invitee has asked ‘Am I supposed to go alone?’ She says she’s shy and won’t know anyone there because she’s not friends with Gigi Hadid. If that were me, I’d make a beeline for Bella and Gigi and ask them if any of their uncles were single, writes Jaci
You’re an adult. Grow a pair.
A Plus One is never anything other than a pain in the neck. Not only have I never been one, I’ve never included the offer on any invitation I’ve sent out, either. I want you there. I don’t want to have to make small talk with your best mate, boring husband/wife, or pet your ‘rescue dog’ (yeah, right) designer chihuahua in your handbag. My party. My rules.
I’m lucky in that I’ve always been able to work a room by myself. Is it easy? No. Not always. But I can do it and, having been single most of my life, have had to. And on the rare occasions I’ve given in to a guest begging me out of extreme shyness to bring someone, it’s been a disaster.
At my 40th birthday party, a friend’s Plus One was abusive to me. He hadn’t even realised I was the host.
At a 50th birthday celebration, an extremely inebriated Plus One was unconscious in my Paris apartment. Unable to rouse her, I had to call les pompiers who were deeply unhappy at having to raise drunk people from the dead when they should have been saving people from nearby burning buildings.
Jaci Stephen: On the rare occasions I’ve been offered to bring a Plus One, I always politely decline, she writes
My huge 60th birthday party was a joy, surrounded by dozens of friends of decades’ standing. The evening was marred only by one thing. Yes, the only Plus One in the room, who hit on so many people, I had several phone calls the next day asking me how, when and where I had managed to acquire such a weirdo.
On the rare occasions I’ve been offered to bring a Plus One, I always politely decline. By myself, I am able to mingle, talk to interesting people, ditch the detritus and leave when I want to. I’ve seen it so often with couples – one wanting to stay while the other wants to go and, upon exiting, arguing about their respective desires. Why not just let the party pooper go home alone? You’re not joined at the hip, for goodness’ sake.
Next month, I’m going to a wedding in Spain, where not only was I not asked to bring a Plus One, I very nearly wasn’t even a One. It was a relatively late invitation, and the mother (a dear friend of many years) explained that as some people were now unable to attend, there were more spaces available.
She was embarrassed at asking, but did it bother me? Not one iota. I was absolutely thrilled to be top of the subs list and, had they asked me the day of the wedding, I’d have chartered a jet to make sure I got there in time.
Weddings are costly and, while Taylor and Travis don’t have to worry about the money, it’s their day and if you don’t want to play, don’t go. Simple as that. The last thing they need is more stress.
It’s why funerals are less complicated than weddings. You don’t hear anyone sobbing that they haven’t been asked to bring a Plus One to the wake. At the ripe old age of 67 now, I find there are so many bereaved singles in attendance, they might as well send out invitations asking guests to come with a ‘Minus One’.
So, Travis and Taylor, now that spare places have become available, I’m free and can be on that Virgin Upper Class flight quicker than you can say Shake It Off.
And sit me next to a single man with his Minus One invitation. A very rich one.
