Kit Barrus spent nearly $5,000 on a three-day cruise to Mexico planned to celebrate her childhood best friend’s upcoming wedding.
She purchased gifts, decorated the bride’s cabin, paid for fuel and parking, and drove the other women to and from the cruise terminal.
After 17 years of friendship, Kit was determined to make the celebration memorable, even though she had not been chosen as a bridesmaid.
But after dropping everyone home, the 28-year-old was already wondering how she could avoid attending the wedding. The trip she had eagerly anticipated had left her feeling embarrassed, isolated and unsure about a friendship she had worked hard to preserve.
Six hours later, a message from the bride appeared on Instagram: ‘This is so inappropriate, uncalled for, consider yourself uninvited from the wedding.’
Kit had uploaded a brief video poking fun at the challenges of travelling in a group. She never imagined the joke would bring a lifelong friendship to an end.
The friend she grew up with
Kit was 11 when she met the girl in Thousand Oaks, California. The pair quickly became inseparable. They lived close enough to walk to each other’s homes, sang in the same choir and spent so much time together that people regularly confused them for twins. On occasion, they would even exchange a shoe before class and arrive wearing mismatched pairs.
Kit Barrus (pictured) spent nearly $5,000 on a three-day Mexican cruise to celebrate her childhood best friend’s upcoming wedding
They shared much of their childhood, and although Kit moved away during high school, the friendship continued. As adulthood approached, however, their lives gradually began to diverge.
Kit, who now produces content for OnlyFans, says her friend’s Christian beliefs occasionally created tension. She recalls feeling judged over her work and personal relationships, but tried to prevent those disagreements from destroying their bond.
‘I was incredibly loyal to the friendship,’ Kit tells Daily Mail. ‘I kept thinking, we’ve been friends since we were 11. Are we really just going to stop being friends?’
The two women had fallen out before, but Kit was generally the one who made the first move towards reconciliation. She would allow her friend time to cool off, then send a message saying she loved and missed her and would be there when she was ready to talk. For years, that approach brought them back together.
Eleven bridesmaids, but not Kit
When her friend announced her engagement, Kit expected to be invited into the bridal party. Having known the bride since childhood, she assumed she would have an important place in the wedding celebrations.
Instead, the bridesmaid invitations went out without her. There were 11 bridesmaids, including women the pair had met together after their friendship was already established.
Kit did not demand an explanation, though she privately questioned why she had been left out. The bride had vaguely indicated that her mother did not want Kit in the bridal party, but Kit never discovered the precise reason.
When the bride said in the group chat that she wanted someone to decorate her cabin door and arrange games, Kit volunteered after nobody else responded
Later, while the pair were making Valentine’s gifts for their partners, the bride invited Kit on a three-day hen’s cruise to Ensenada, Mexico. ‘At that point, I was simply glad to be included,’ Kit recalls.
She accepted despite knowing she would be the outsider. Most of the other guests were bridesmaids, making Kit the only woman on the cruise without an official role in the wedding.
Going all out for the bride
When the bride wrote in the group chat that she would love help decorating her cabin door and planning games, the conversation fell silent. Kit immediately offered to take responsibility.
She bought decorations and assembled a large collection of bridal gifts, including a sash, tiara, slippers, games and novelty sweets. Kit organised transport to the port, drove the women there and paid for fuel and parking. She also booked a separate cabin so she could continue working during the cruise.
The itinerary included excursions, including activities the bride wanted to experience but could not persuade the others to try. Once accommodation, transport, presents and other costs were added together, Kit estimates the trip cost her almost $5,000.
‘I brought everything needed to decorate her door,’ she says. ‘I brought a whole basket of bride-to-be gifts, and I wasn’t even one of the bridesmaids.’
It was a significant sum for just three days away, but Kit had known the bride for most of her life and wanted her to have a special celebration.
The hen’s trip from hell
The cruise began without major problems. Kit noticed that her friend seemed somewhat irritable, but she was still included in the group’s plans. The mood shifted on the second day, when they arrived in Ensenada.
Kit rarely drinks, while several of the other women were consuming alcohol throughout the trip. She also became increasingly uncomfortable with remarks about money.
At lunch, the group faced a substantial bill. Kit had ordered two tacos and a water, which she estimates cost between $20 and $30, but the women struggled to determine how to divide the total. Hoping to resolve the issue, Kit offered $80.
Instead, she says, the conversation continued for so long that she began to feel the others were waiting for her to pay the entire amount.
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‘You can tell when people are expecting you to do something because they keep delaying and making a simple situation unnecessarily difficult,’ she says. ‘That was exactly what it felt like.’
Kit began questioning whether she had been invited because the group expected her to cover some of their costs. ‘I started to feel like I was being brought along as some kind of strange piggy bank,’ she says.
She was also upset by the bride’s conduct. Kit says her friend had become increasingly hostile towards her and even towards locals they encountered in Ensenada. As someone who seldom drinks, Kit felt increasingly disconnected from the group. After lunch, she decided to return to the ship by herself.
Back on board, she bought a drink, found a quiet seat in the main foyer and read comics on her phone. ‘This is the most enjoyable part of the whole f***ing trip,’ she remembers thinking.
The final day brought the most painful incident. Kit had been searching for the others when she learned they had gone to a nightclub on the ship without telling her. After eventually finding them, she attempted to join the group but was directed to a chair against the wall.
‘They sat me in a chair against the wall and then everyone turned their backs on me,’ she recalls. Shocked, Kit filmed a short clip and sent it to another friend. ‘I remember thinking, I wish I could make this up.’
By that stage, Kit had stopped trying to make sense of the situation. She says the bride had been drinking heavily and acting aggressively, so she chose to keep her distance rather than risk an argument.
The journey home produced another uncomfortable scene. While Kit drove several of the women from the cruise terminal, they began arranging a sleepover and discussing which film they would watch after being dropped off.
‘After Kit drops us off, we should do this. We should do that. We should watch this movie,’ she remembers them saying. Kit was sitting behind the wheel. ‘I’m literally here,’ she recalls thinking. ‘I’m driving you home.’
When she eventually reached her own house, Kit was already wondering how she could face another event with the group.
The Instagram Reel that ended everything
Before the cruise, Kit had told the bride she would need to produce work content while they were away. She often travelled alone for work and planned to record Instagram Reels and TikToks, which was one reason she had booked a cabin of her own. Kit says the bride had initially accepted the arrangement.
During the cruise, Kit filmed a short Reel contrasting solo travel with travelling as part of a group. When she travelled alone, she could set her own schedule and make decisions independently. With the others, she found herself moving at their pace, waiting for them and carrying their belongings while they handled other tasks.
Kit had been looking forward to the three-day Mexican cruise, but the trip quickly became a nightmare
The video featured several playful clips about those minor frustrations, including Kit holding items that belonged to other people. In one moment, another woman’s hand appeared briefly. Kit believed fellow solo travellers would understand the joke.
The bride saw it differently. About six hours after Kit had driven everyone home, she contacted her through her public Instagram account instead of sending a private message, which Kit found unusual.
‘She wrote, “This is so inappropriate, uncalled for, and has upset everyone. Consider yourself uninvited from the wedding,”‘ Kit recalls.
Kit had not identified the bride or directly criticised anyone in the video, leaving her confused by the reaction. She chose not to respond. ‘I thought, there’s honestly nothing I can say to that,’ she says.
After posting a playful Instagram Reel about the difficulties of group travel, Kit received a message from the bride-to-be
Kit had already been confiding in another friend about how anxious she felt at the prospect of attending the wedding. She had not been given a plus-one, and the people she knew would mostly be occupied with their bridesmaid responsibilities. After the cruise, she could not bear the idea of spending another day feeling unwelcome.
For that reason, Kit says she actually felt relieved when the invitation was revoked. ‘I thought, yes, thank you,’ she says.
Five or six days later, Kit realised the bride had blocked her on Instagram. She had initially kept the Reel online, but deleted it after a bridesmaid began replying to her followers with the comment: ‘Crazy of her to say this after we bought her lunch.’ Kit was shocked, especially because she says she had offered $80 during the tense Ensenada lunch despite ordering only two tacos and a water.
‘I thought, what are you talking about? I drove you there. I paid for gas and parking. I was constantly buying you things. What is this?’ Rather than continue the public dispute with the bridesmaids, Kit decided to remove the video.
The friend she still misses
The wedding has now taken place. Kit was travelling when a calendar reminder appeared, and she remembers feeling thankful that she was not attending. There was also some relief in finally losing the friendship, although Kit had spent years hoping the warm, loving person she remembered from childhood would return despite their growing disagreements.
‘She used to be this person filled with absolute love,’ Kit says. ‘She had so much love for everyone around her and always tried to care for other people.’ Kit says she watched that side of her friend fade over time, continuing to hope the relationship would improve. ‘I feel as though I’ve watched her disappear for years and there was nothing I could do to stop it.’
Kit does not believe much can be repaired now, although she says a substantial apology would be necessary before she could consider rebuilding the friendship. What she truly misses is the girl she knew before the wedding, the conflict and the cruise.
‘I mourn the girl I was friends with when I was 16,’ Kit says, ‘because she was amazing. She was the coolest.’
