Thousands of students and faculty members gathered at Cornell University on Monday to march toward the main administration building. The demonstration followed an overnight incident in which vandals reportedly smashed a glass door and spray-painted “Smash the patriarchy” on a wall.
Some protesters carried signs reading “Ban all frats” and “This is feminist rage.”
I did not see any signs saying “Stop binge drinking” or “Don’t do drugs.”
When my daughters were in elementary school, we used to joke about a mother who called out from her minivan every morning, with the regularity of a cuckoo clock: “Make good choices!”
Now that my older daughter is in her final year of college, I have become that mother. I repeatedly remind both girls to consider who they are with, what they are consuming and how a careless decision could alter their own lives—or someone else’s.
I tell them they may one day have to help a friend out of a dangerous situation. Unfortunately, my older daughter has already made several emergency-room visits with friends who believe their drinks were spiked.
I also urge them to avoid circumstances that could leave them especially vulnerable to harm.
Before anyone accuses me of victim-blaming in connection with the alleged sexual assault involving Cornell students, let me be clear: young men must be held to equally demanding standards of conduct.
Protesters carried signs reading “Ban all frats” and “This is feminist rage.” I did not see any calling for an end to binge drinking or drug use.
Cornell fraternity scandal leaves lives permanently damaged
Speaking hypothetically, a ketamine-fueled party at a fraternity house with an open-door policy creates obvious risks. Such an environment can carry grave consequences, both morally and legally, and may leave lasting damage in its wake.
Taking part in a threesome is not consent to sexual assault. At the same time, high-risk partying can create circumstances in which judgment, safety and consent become dangerously unclear.
My advice to young women and men entering adulthood is simple: keep intoxicants and other excesses under control.
It can be done.
Although I worked close to the world of sex, drugs and rock ’n’ roll at MTV in the 1990s, I managed to avoid many of the temptations around me—including an NBA champion who suggested wagering for my affections in a dice game. I declined and walked away with New Jersey Nets tickets.
Young people should understand that reckless choices can carry a price, regardless of gender.
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Whatever occurred inside the Chi Phi fraternity on October 19, 2024, and into the early hours of October 20, the consequences have already been profound. Lives have been permanently altered.
Expelled Cornell student reportedly banned from new university
The Daily Mail reported Wednesday that Jonathan Newell, 21, was among two fraternity members reportedly expelled by Cornell. He has been identified as the alleged author of a vulgar group-chat message advertising “free [expletive]” to fraternity members.
Newell has been accused of sexual assault but has not been charged with a crime. The allegation and the message could follow him for years. He has also reportedly been ordered to stay away from Nova Southeastern University’s campus in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, where he enrolled earlier this year.
Matthew Ingalls, another former Chi Phi member reportedly expelled by Cornell, offered a different account. In an email to the university obtained by ABC News, he alleged that he was assaulted by Jane Doe that night.
“You received information that I was sodomized by her while I was incapacitated back,” he reportedly wrote to the university. A neighbor told Our News Outlet that Ingalls had since left the United States and returned to Dubai, where he attended high school.
And what of Jane Doe? Her identity has not been made public, but students at Cornell may know who she is. The scrutiny and uncertainty surrounding the case could impose an enormous burden.
Promising futures may have been disrupted—or permanently marked—by the incident. Yet amid the outrage on Cornell’s campus and across the country, the broader consequences for everyone involved have received less attention.
Those complexities are often overlooked by prominent voices in the gender-justice debate, including Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Florence Pugh.
“There is no equality until you respect our bodies. There is no equality until you stop damaging our souls… We are the life force of this earth, start [expletive] protecting us. Be angry for us. Please,” Pugh wrote.
Cornell controversy sparks debate over personal responsibility
If sexual assault occurred at the fraternity house, those responsible should face criminal prosecution. If Jane Doe was drugged, the matter demands a full investigation and accountability. And if any fraternity member witnessed an assault, recognized that she could not consent and failed to intervene, that person should also face consequences.
But gender equality also involves responsibility—an aspect often missing from the public debate. What would advocates such as Susan B. Anthony or Ruth Bader Ginsburg have said about spending years at an elite university while routinely drinking to excess or using drugs? Would that represent progress?
Encouraging young women and men to protect themselves is not the same as blaming victims. Outrage and calls for punishment may be justified, but they will not by themselves transform college culture.
Cornell sophomore Quin Lewis expressed the anger many students feel when she told The New York Times: “I think if you’re not angry there’s something wrong.”
I agree. In this case, there is more than enough anger—and responsibility—to go around.
